(Closed) Should I give a gift?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Weddings and marriage are not tit-for-tat.

If you want to buy a gift, buy one. If you don’t, don’t. But either way, own your decision. Don’t pull the, “Well they didn’t buy us one!” card.

Post # 3
Member
13903 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

A wedding invitation doesn’t obligate you to buy a gift.  Personally, I would never go to a wedding without bringing a gift, but that’s just me.

If it makes you feel any better, my inlaws didn’t bother to get us a card or a gift.  When DH called them out a month later, we got a 99 cent card in the mail a few days later.

Post # 4
Member
812 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Get them a small gift and be the bigger person.

Post # 5
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee

Get the cheapest item on the registry. 

I am petty and that’s what I would do. 

Post # 6
Member
3610 posts
Sugar bee

Are you attending? If so, bring a gift. Two wrongs don’t make a right and there’s nothing worse than cheapness, IMO. You saw how tacky it looked for them not to bring a gift to your wedding and you don’t want to look the same way.

If not, skip the gift. I know you’re technically supposed to send a gift if you’re invited to a wedding and can’t make it, but this rule has always come off as gift-grabby to me and I would never expect someone who didn’t come to my wedding to send me a gift (although it has happened).

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