Should i give him the ring back?

posted 1 month ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
5185 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I mean, you were broken up at the time so it isn’t like he cheated on you.  I get it could be upsetting but at the same time it isn’t 100% wrong, there was no reason for him to think the breakup wouldn’t be permanent.  

And im just now finding out any of this and not from him but my own investigation. 

Why were you investigating in the first place?

When were you planning on getting married? 

Post # 3
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

You guys were broken up when it happened 

Post # 4
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Id be more worried about all the other stuff you have mentioned. He has brain damage. Is it permanent? Is it something you are willing and able to sign up for dealing with for your entire life? Would it negatively impact your ability to have and raise kids? Would you have to do most of the child raising yourself? Are there long term expensive costs associated with his care? Can you afford that? Id focus on that. Not a technicality that sounds as immature as an episode of Friends. 

Post # 6
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Although it sucks to find that out, it happened while you weren’t together, maybe he was upset and looking for a rebound? in any case you were broken up so you can’t really hold it against him. 

Post # 7
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

I mean, you were broken up so it’s not like he cheated. I also don’t blame him for not telling you – it seems unneccesary to mention it. You were broken up, and it sounds like he didn’t actually sleep with her, so why mention it? Honestly it would seem cruel of him to tell you about it. Like, “babe remember when we were broken up? well I tried to sleep with my friend’s sister but got rejected.” Nothing good is going to come from that.

That being said, I 100% understand why you are upset and your feelings are valid. In your position, I would give it a little while before making a decision of what to do. When it boils down to it – you were not together at the time, so him trying to sleep with someone else was none of your business. It still hurts that he would do that, but that’s how some people cope. 

Post # 8
Member
9673 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You could pawn it!

Post # 10
Hostess
8219 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

You were broken up so he didn’t cheat on you. Regardless, you don’t need to stay with him solely because of his injury.  You don’t have to stay in an unhappy relationship. 

Post # 13
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

You’re caring for him after a traumatic brain injury, can I ask why you’re preoccupied with the thought of him eventually cheating and leaving?

Is he acting suspicious right now? Why do you think he’s going to try and go after her when she’s legal?

You’re creating future scenarios to be upset about 

Post # 14
Member
93 posts
Worker bee

2chainz :  In that case then yes.

That is an incredibly immature, selfish and mean thing to do it honestly reminds me of highschool shit I personally couldnt ever be with an adult who acted like that… essentially dumped you on spot to screw someone else.. so what happens if hes attracted to someone whne married.. will he file for divorce and come back?

Shitty behaviour, and he is flip flopping.. marriage lasts a long time and yes there will be people to be attracted to etc. and I just would not trust this pattern of behaviour.

Post # 15
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I’d be done, sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. If you’re worried about your friends younger sister that’s not yet legal-being a potential target-throw the whole man away and warn your friend of his behavior. Idc how much brain damage he has-he ain’t it and you deserve better. Best of luck to you! 

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