Post # 1
Our wedding is in NY, but we currently live in CA.
We know for sure that 2 of our friends from CA would/will definitely fly out to NY to attend, but I have a good feeling that our other friends would RSVP “no.”
I don’t want to spend the extra $ on printing/sending them invitations, but I feel like they’ll get pissed/upset/butt-hurt if I don’t.
So… even though I know they’ll say no, should I give them invitations anyway, just out of courtsey?
Post # 3
I would. I don’t think the cost of printing and mailing a few invitations is worth the risk of upsetting/offending friends!
Post # 4
Have you talked to them about it yet? The only way you shouldn’t send one is if you discussed everything with them already and they said outrightly that they wouldn’t be able to make it. Otherwise, absolutely send them one. We’re sending multiple invitations to people who we know won’t show up out of courtesy – It’s pretty much the norm for a lot of people. In the big scheme of things, it’s not that costly and it’s the polite thing to do if you’re concerned about hurting their feelings.
Post # 5
I would. I’d be upset if I thought someone didn’t invite me because they assumed I wouldn’t come. I KNOW my friends husbands won’t be coming – the SO’s never go out of our little group of 5 work girls but they’re still invited just like FH was invited to all of theirs. There are several friends who i seriously doubt will fly out but they’re still getting invites.
Post # 6
@chrissyb464: I haven’t talked to them yet, because it seems like an odd thing to ask. “Hey, would you be interested in going to our wedding?” lol
-One of our friends just started her own catering business, so there’s no way she’ll be able to take the time off to fly out to our wedding..
-Another friend is having money troubles/trouble accepting that we’re getting married so he’s kind of separated himself from us (but he’s been our closest friend for almost 10 years,)
-And another one of our friends blows money on Coachella tickets and partying, but I doubt she’d spend $ for a flight+hotel room for our wedding.
Sooo it’s kinda safe to say that those 3 wont be attending, but I know I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t give them an invitation, lol
Post # 7
I would. It’s what, maybe $10-15 per invitation tops? I think that’s a fair price to pay to avoid hurt feelings.
I think if you were more concerned about the cost per plate (like if there was a 50-50 chance they’d come) I would be more hesitant on sending a “courtesy” invitation.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Definitely. It’s still a big deal to get invited even if one can’t attend. (Plus they’re likely to get you a gift this way!)
Post # 9
I’d do it. you never know- they may surprise you and take a NY vacation at the same time. 🙂 I would!
Post # 10
We are inviting literally several dozen folks who we are SURE won’t come to the wedding. The price per invitation is a small one for keeping the peace and fosterning friendship.
Post # 11
you don’t know they won’t come. i think you should send everyone you want to invite and invitation.
Post # 12
@ajillity81: +1 I totally agree, send invites to ppl you want to attend. i did the same thing. sent out invitations to everyone since I am having a destination wedding. Thinking oh not everyone will go since they have to travel. oh boy was I wrong I
Post # 13
Even if I can’t attend,I still appreciate getting an invitation. It tells me that I am important to teh couple and they would like me to attend theri life events.
Post # 14
I would of our pure courtesy, especially if they’re good friends. I’d rather have somebody politely declined rather than them be offended they didn’t even get an invite.
Post # 15
I would just eat it and go for it. If they are your friends they will appreciate receiving the invite.
Post # 16
I live in Iowa, and at the time I got married, I had a friend living in Arizona. Even though I knew she wouldn’t be able to come, and she said she probably wouldn’t, I sent her an invite anyways. I think it’s more of a courtesy thing, just to let them know that you still want to include them in your big day. They may not be able to come, but it’s still the thought that counts!