(Closed) Should I give them an invitation out of courtesy?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would. I don’t think the cost of printing and mailing a few invitations is worth the risk of upsetting/offending friends!

Post # 4
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Have you talked to them about it yet?  The only way you shouldn’t send one is if you discussed everything with them already and they said outrightly that they wouldn’t be able to make it.   Otherwise, absolutely send them one.  We’re sending multiple invitations to people who we know won’t show up out of courtesy – It’s pretty much the norm for a lot of people.  In the big scheme of things, it’s not that costly and it’s the polite thing to do if you’re concerned about hurting their feelings.

Post # 5
12103 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would.  I’d be upset if I thought someone didn’t invite me because they assumed I wouldn’t come.  I KNOW my friends husbands won’t be coming – the SO’s never go out of our little group of 5 work girls but they’re still invited just like FH was invited to all of theirs.  There are several friends who i seriously doubt will fly out but they’re still getting invites.  

Post # 7
2499 posts
Buzzing bee

I would. It’s what, maybe $10-15 per invitation tops? I think that’s a fair price to pay to avoid hurt feelings.

I think if you were more concerned about the cost per plate (like if there was a 50-50 chance they’d come) I would be more hesitant on sending a “courtesy” invitation.

Post # 8
9256 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Definitely. It’s still a big deal to get invited even if one can’t attend.  (Plus they’re likely to get you a gift this way!)

Post # 9
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d do it. you never know- they may surprise you and take a NY vacation at the same time. 🙂 I would!

Post # 10
906 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

We are inviting literally several dozen folks who we are SURE won’t come to the wedding. The price per invitation is a small one for keeping the peace and fosterning friendship.

Post # 11
8175 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

you don’t know they won’t come.  i think you should send everyone you want to invite and invitation.

Post # 12
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ajillity81:  +1 I totally agree, send invites  to ppl you want  to attend. i did the same thing. sent out  invitations to everyone since I am having a destination  wedding. Thinking oh not everyone will go since they have to travel. oh boy was I wrong I

Post # 13
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Even if I can’t attend,I still appreciate getting an invitation. It tells me that I am important to teh couple and they would like me to attend theri life events.

Post # 14
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would of our pure courtesy, especially if they’re good friends. I’d rather have somebody politely declined rather than them be offended they didn’t even get an invite.

Post # 15
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just eat it and go for it.  If they are your friends they will appreciate receiving the invite.

Post # 16
1146 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I live in Iowa, and at the time I got married, I had a friend living in Arizona. Even though I knew she wouldn’t be able to come, and she said she probably wouldn’t, I sent her an invite anyways. I think it’s more of a courtesy thing, just to let them know that you still want to include them in your big day. They may not be able to come, but it’s still the thought that counts!

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