(Closed) Should I give up time with fiancé for good paying job?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This is pretty much me & My fi. He asked me if I was ok with it & promised to make the most of our time. He works about 75hours a week. I work 45hrs & we have a 4yr old. We have sundays together. He finds like an hour to come have lunch with me when he can. Just sneak away whenever we can. As long as you make the most of your time I think you’ll be fine. Its just a year. 

 

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

This is me and my SO as well, but I’m working closer to 70 hours a week and he works between 56-70. We try to make as much time as we can for each other, even if that means he comes to my apartment just so we can cuddle and fall asleep for the night together. Does it suck? Yes, but we make it work. I’m a workacholic so I can’t imagine not working as much as I do.

Post # 5
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it really depends on the situation and whether it’s just short term like you said. My fiancé just accepted a new job where our hours will be very different. I work 8-4 from home, and he’ll be at work from 2-10pm. He also has Wednesdays and Thursdays as weekends, and will have to work weekends and holidays. It’s definitely going to be an adjustment and something we’ll have to get used to, BUT it’s not forever (only a year or two until he has the experience he needs to look elsewhere), and the money is REALLY good. So, we both know its only temporary and not very much time in the scheme of things. I probably wouldn’t want to do it for the next 50 years, but short term is okay. We’ll have less time together but I know our time together will be better appreciated and more special. We definitely don’t take our time together for granted 🙂

Post # 6
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@shrubfish09:  I think it depends on the couple.  I personally wouldn’t (we enjoy our time together way too much), but that doesn’t mean it can’t work.  We have friends, a couple, that have worked opposite schedules for years.  The wife, we’ll call her J, works with Good Morning America, so she has to be up around 3:00 or 4:00 AM, while the husband, D, works a late shift (swing shift?) from 3:00 in the afternoon and doesn’t get home until close to midnight.  This is the only way that they were able to afford having children, but they make it work.  I think an upside to this is that they really appreciate the time that they do get together, even though it is rare.

Post # 7
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Fiance and I work opposite schedules, we see each other as we hand the keys off so the other can go to work. We get days off together on occasion which is nice but we really don’t get to see each other a lot. But we survive because we know it isn’t forever. It is just something we have to do for now so that we can get to the point later on down the line where we can afford for one of us to switch schedules or stop working. It is really worth it in the long run, it may suck for now but if it is only short term then think of all the good it can do for you. And it really does make the time that you do get together that much better.

Post # 8
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes, you should take the job.  At the very least to save money!  It’s not that big of a deal to spend a few hours away from your fiance…

Post # 9
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@shrubfish09:  I would do it. I’m of the mind that you gotta do what you gotta do. To me, a wedding isn’t a NECESSARY expense (you could just elope)… so if you’re paying for it yourself, you need to make some sacrifices somewhere. The last thing you want is to start married life in debt. NY is expensive.

You might make some excellent contacts, as well. I would go for it… it sounds like a really good opportunity. The time you do spend with your Fiance will be all the more special, and it is only temporary. I wouldn’t do it long-term. Just make sure you can keep your grades up. Full-time school and 55 hrs a week work is a LOT to take on.

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

As long as it’s temporary (which I see is the case), I’d go for it. Darling Husband and I used to only get Sundays together…now we currently get maybe one Sunday a month and a few nights during the week! I kinda hate it, but when you have something coming up where you could really use the money (for us it’s our baby on the way, a wedding is a good reason too), I say as long as it’s temporary it’s generally fine and worth it.

Post # 11
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I say take it if you need the money, and it isn’t interfering with school.

If you do take it, just remember to stick up for the time that you do have together. I don’t know how much experience you have with nannying, but nearly every couple I have nannied or babysat for has frequently come home hours later than expected, without so much as a call (even the one’s which seem nice). When I say frequently, I mean every other day coming home an hour to three hours late.

Don’t be sucked into nannying extra days and hours!

Post # 12
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@shrubfish09:  DO IT! 

Post # 13
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

As long as it’s short-term, I say go for it.  This is the time (when you’re not married, still in school, don’t have kids) where you guys can both work a lot and still carve out time to spend together.  Darling Husband and I have been through plenty of weird work situations (he graduated college before me so for a while he was working “regular” 9-5 hours while I was in school full time and working nights/weekends, right now he works 50+ hour weeks and travels weekends while taking MBA classes) and we just try to make the most of the time we have.  Hopefully, the extra $$ you are making at the nanny job will translate to a nice, long honeymoon.

Post # 14
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I work full time (40 hours a week), and so does Fiance (he works 50+ hours a week). He has weekends off, and I usually have weekdays off. It’s been almost a month since I’ve spent a full day with him. We usually only see each other a few hours a night. It sucks big time, but it’s what we have to do to survive so we do it. 

If it will benefit you both and help you with money, I say do it. 

Post # 15
Member
4035 posts
Honey bee

@shrubfish09:  My Fiance and I do this now. We are not in college anymore (graduated 3 years ago), but our job positions create a difficult schedule. I am work 8-5 at a school and he works as a retail manager from 2-10:30pm. So we really only see each other about an hour each night and then on Saturdays (he works on Sundays too).

It really is a bummer, but the financial stability takes priority. He is working towards getting another job, but until that happens, we are making it work. We would rather be able to pay our bills and save up money at this point. It’s a sacrifice and you have to decide if it is worth it.

If money is tight right now for you two, I would probably recommend either taking this job or really trying hard for another. That last thing you want is to have a lot of time together and spend it fighting about not having any money 🙁

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