- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
For reference, this is what happened last time I spent more than a day with FI’s family: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/stand-up-for-myself-or-smile-and-nod-fmil-opinionated-always-gets-her-way#axzz2hXYhfy5Y
Since then, FSIL and FFIL have talked to FMIL to tell her how inappropriate she was being. FSIL and FFIL have apologized to me, but FMIL hasn’t and I don’t think she ever will. She even accused me of getting a “government bail out” for participating in the Federal Student Loan Forgiveness Program, and she still questions every decision FI and I make about our wedding. FI’s parents also declined our invitation to look at venues with us. At our engagement party, she was sort of weird to my friends (after coming over and asking to be introduced to them) and also chastised me for trying to introduce one of my friends before my friend had finished chewing. Her back was to me so I didn’t know, plus who cares? All of my friends commented on how strange she was. However, FSIL and FI convinced their parents to join my family for Thanksgiving, which I’m hopeful about.
FI and I have been together for over 6 years, and for the first time ever I’ve been invited on the family vacation. His family has a time share and go somewhere once or twice a year. This year they’re going to Aruba for over a week. I wouldn’t go for the whole time (can’t take that much off from work) but was thinking of going for 3-4 days. However, I’m on a really tight budget because I work on non-profits and live in an expensive city. I currently only have about $50-$100 left at the end of the month for savings, and I have been deferring on medical bills because I’m in the middle of a malpractice suit, but I might have to bite the bullet and pay them. The cheapest plane tickets I found were around $450 and they’re going in December. I could ask FI to help pay for them, but he already paid more than half of our trip to Iceland. When FI vacationed with my family, my parents paid for literally everything and refused to take a check when he tried to pay them back for a portion. I absolutely do not expect FI’s parents to do the same for me, but just wanted to point it out that it was a different situation for FI to come on my family’s vacation. So, money is definitely a factor, but I could make it work.
My biggest concern is sleeping arrangements. FI said there would probably be only one room for everyone. So, FI’s parents, FSIL, me, and FI all in one room. I’m honestly not sure if I can handle that. I’m generally a pretty private and introverted person. I would probably take the roll-away type bed and have FI and FSIL sleep in the same bed because it would feel soooo weird to me having everyone see us sleeping together. Everyone in FI’s family are morning people (naturally wake up at 6am) and I naturally wake up around 11 or noon. I’ve also been criticized for wearing make-up all the time. I typically take about 15-30 minutes to get fully ready in the morning (and I’m often ready before FI!), and I don’t consider this high maintenance, but there have been comments.
Considering the price and length of the flight (9 hours) it would be ridiculous to go down for less than 3 days. Despite everything that’s gone on, I know it’s still important to FI that I make an effort to be part of the family. I want to go in order to show that I am trying my best to meld two lives, but money and rooming are really huge concerns. What would you do?