(Closed) Should I Go On Viagra?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think you should talk to a doctor. They would be the ones to write the prescription, anyway. If honestly may just be that you aren’t very experienced and aren’t doing things correctly. It may just take more time – the wedding is a lot of pressure, and that can really effect things, as well! Don’t panic yet!

Post # 4
Member
3429 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@bjh293:  Practice makes perfect:) 

Post # 5
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

performance anxiety. 

Post # 6
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I honestly don’t think you’re that different than many people just starting out. You just don’t have enough experience to know what you like. Keep trying and be open and communicate with your partner. You guys will work through it

Post # 7
Member
680 posts
Busy bee

Keep at it and don’t let yourself get stressed out, that will make you soft for sure! Sex isn’t only physical. Some positions work and others don’t depending on the couple. Keep at it. Try varying your speed, rhythm, etc. You’ll find your groove ๐Ÿ˜‰ Don’t turn to meds just yet. Congrats newlyweds!

Post # 8
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s only been two days, pharmaceuticals would be jumping the gun at this point. Give it time. I completely agree with PPs who say you just need to practice and learn what works for each other, and become more comfortable with the act.

 

And don’t get frustrated, it has happened to many people before, including my now Fiance. He had only had sex once before me, and after the initial few months of similar problems and some obvious performance anxiety, we now have a wonderful sex life without any dysfunction. Chin up! 

 

ETA: for what it’s worth, I never felt frustrated or lost patience with him. I completely understood that it was normal and had no problem working through it with him. I bet your wife feels the same way. 

 

Post # 9
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

It’s performance anxiety!!! My Fiance had a similar issue when we got together; neither of us were virgins, but we were both pretty inexperienced in the grand scheme of things. Sex has such a learning curve, it’s crazy. Also…if you were an avid masturbator before, it’s gonna take some time to be able to orgasm from sex. With sex, you can’t control the stroke, pressure, speed, etc, like you can when you’re doing it yourself ๐Ÿ™‚ 

My advice is to just keep doing it. Do what feels good, have fun with it, don’t be afraid to giggle mid sex (lord knows, we had a lot of giggles for the first couple of months). Keep it light and pressure free, and just enjoy each other. 

As far as slipping out goes…that’s a combination of being a little soft due to the performance anxiety, and not really knowing how your body/her body work together yet. It’ll change!! 

But seriously, all of this is normal ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t think you need Viagra…being hard for 4 hours and still not being able to orgasm isn’t going to help you, I promise. 

Oh, also! Use lube! Seriously, she’ll dry out after 30 minutes of vigorous sex and then it’ll hurt her and not feel good for you, either. Plus you can have all kinds of fun applying it to each other ๐Ÿ™‚ We like his & hers, but experiment around, you’ll find some that you guys love too! 

Post # 10
Member
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Umm I feel like this is a very strange place to ask this question….

 

Post # 11
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FauxBoho:  Right… Like we don’t have penises… So I’m not even sure how to respond.

Post # 12
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@deetroitwhat:  But we do have penises, we just keep them attached to our guys. I don’t think he’s out of line asking for a female perspective. Obviously if a man has gone through this issue, there is a woman on the other end of it who might also be able to offer insight. And we’re more likely to be open about this than other men. 

Post # 13
Member
2668 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Honey no, it’s not at all close to time for viagra. You’re just getting used to a new sensation. You’ve gone from your hand, which gives you a lot friction (especially when dry), to a moister and softer medium. Also, as PPs have stated, there’s a lot going with the psychological adjustment. As *terrible* as it may be, just keep on practicing (wink wink, nudge nudge)! I would’t touch yourself for a while either. You’ve gotta retrain your senses after all. Relax, have fun, and btw congratulations!

Post # 14
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Birdi:  Exactly.  Give it at least 6 months since you were a virgin and need some time to figure out which positions give you the most stimulation.  Also, you might be nervouse since she’s more experienced and you will need time to get over that as well; she married you right?  I would not recommend using Viagra at your age.  At this point it’s mostly in your head and you just need to get it on through it.

Post # 15
Member
3429 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@beachbride1216:  Agree! 

experiment and RELAX! 

Post # 16
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@FauxBoho:  lol that was my first response.

 

@bjh293:  So I have had this discussion with Fiance. This is what he says. Performance anxiety is one thing. Another is that it takes awhile to get used to things down there and how they feel.

 

Positions are different for every couple. If a position doesn’t come naturally, try it again when your more experienced.

 

Also this not finishing thing is also very common. It usualy happens to younger guys in high school. It takes them a very long time to fnish. I assume he meant because this for 2 reasons. 1 unexperienced guys don’t know how to perform in a way that gets them off. The other is that they are densensitized to sex because they have been “taking care of themselves”. I would avoid that and practice. 

 

You are a very far away from needing viagra.

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