(Closed) Should I go to her Shower?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

If you’re friends and you don’t have anything else going on, I think we should go.  They’re two totally different events.  One will be a shower where the room will be bright, probably stripped down to only table coverings and a few arrangements, whereas your decorations for the same space will be much fancier.  I don’t think them having it in the same spot is a direct shot at you and your fiance, it’s either a coincidence, or she liked your place so much and wanted to incorporate it into her wedding somehow without actually "taking it over".

Post # 4
127 posts
Blushing bee

She is most likely doing things to out do you and make you jealous. My advice? Keep your head up and be graceful about it. Your wedding will be a far more memorable event than her shower. She’s being petty. People who are truly and happily in love don’t need to act that way.

Post # 5
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i dont want to hurt your feelings, but i think you are being kind of petty. no one can use the club but you since your wedding is there? are they members of this country club too? maybe personal reasons required they have a short engagement. i dont think she’s trying to outdo you. i think she’s not thinking of you or your wedding at all…she’s thinking of hers.

if you are her friend, you should go to the shower.  would your feelings be hurt if she doesnt come to your shower?

Post # 6
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Honestly, I think you’re overreacting. Country clubs are pretty standard places for both weddings and showers. Who knows, maybe your guests have even been to this particular country club before. I really don’t meant to sound snarky, but you gotta get over it. Go to the shower and enjoy the fact that you and your friend both have great taste in venues.

Post # 8
5493 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with most of the ladies.  I don’t think her decision has anything to do with you.  Although sometimes during wedding planning we feel like everything is about us, you’re the only one feeling that way.  I think it would be pretty petty not to go.  It’s not like she’s having her wedding there.  THAT would be a no no.

Post # 9
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have to agree with everyone else, unless she has done other things to make you think she is trying to compete with you.  If this is the only thing, I would just let it go. 

My parents’ friends got engaged after FH and I and they planned a short engagement.  My parents discussed venues with them and told them about our venue (it’s not usually used as a wedding venue).  They checked it out and wanted to use it for their wedding.  (They asked my parents if they would mind before they booked).   I’m thrilled that someone else thought it was a nice place for a wedding!!  As an added bonus, their wedding was a few weeks ago and my parents get some great tips from them about things that worked/didn’t work. 

Post # 10
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Go to the shower! I don’t think that her shower is going to be any kind of "competition" with your wedding… they’re very different kinds of events. If her choice of venue had anything to do with you, it could be that she didn’t have much time to do venue research for her shower (A 4 month engagement is SHORT!), and so she went with something she’d heard of from you.

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