Post # 62
Wow…this chick takes the cake.
I have to say, I think she shouldn’t go. If she is going to spend the whole time trying to figure out a way to get drunk and saying how she “gave up her birthday weekend” to be at the wedding…that’s not someone I would want at my wedding.
Family is family, but I can understand why some people choose to “loose touch” with people like this.
Post # 63
Sounds like you made up your mind and you have your reasons so why are you asking us anyway? Looking for validation?
Post # 64
Definitely agree with all the other bees. You should go to the wedding. You may not really get it yet, seeing that your wedding to be is still more than a year away, but you never know what can happen in that time. God forbid something happen and you have to postpone your wedding. Sure hope people show up and support you! And while you may think at this point that you won’t care about who does or who doesn’t show up–believe me, you will! I really can’t imagine why your brother is not close to his immediate family since it seems like you and your mom are so very supportive of him!
Post # 65
I had written a post after reading all of the thread, but I had to delete it because I seriously have nothing nice, or respectful to say about this situation.
Obviously you just want people to tell you to say screw the wedding and celebrate your birthday … so whatever – go celebrate your birthday.
Post # 66
Once the date is final, you should go to your brother’s wedding.
Post # 67
definitely go. you’ll be sad someday if you skip it. take a shot for your bday while you’re there.
Post # 68
I don’t understand… is this your 21st birthday or something?
Post # 69
Um. The wedding. No contest. You have a birthday every year. Your little brother will only get married once, god willing. I would be extremely hurt if my sister didn’t come to my wedding.
Post # 70
My sister stopped speaking to me after she found out we wanted to have our wedding the same weekend as her birthday, our other sister backed her up. I can’t begin to tell you how hurt I was, and I would guess your brother would feel the same way if he could read your comments. I think Meg of A Practical Wedding said it best….a wedding is not an imposition…the people who love you…will not feel that your wedding is a burden or an imposition.
Post # 71
Wow! I say don’t go. If your not close to your brother, and if he is just a flake about everything. I say plan your b-day. I mean seriously, everyone is harping on you. Some people are not close to their family and that is ok. Sometimes your family can suck, and sometimes they can be blood and not really family. Figure out what your bro really means to you, if he is just some person who happens to be blood related, but is not a good person, not a person you really care about or want in your life. Don’t go, but if you do love him and do respect him, even though he’s a little flaky then go. And then fly from NC to Miami, it will be cheaper and lots of fun. Hit up a wedding, than party in Miami afterwards. We have to remember that not all family is family, sometimes the family you have is the family you make.
Post # 72
Well put lkbphmd. I love A Practical Wedding. Meg is the ess-H-eye-tee!
To the original poster:
If you are not close with your brother and do not value the relationship at all, then I don’t think you should go. Despite the challenges you presented, I think the largest obstacle is your attitude about his wedding. If you feel the wedding is a burden to you, then it would be ingenuine for you to go.
That being said, I think family is extremely important. Friends may leave, but family is always there for you whether you want it or not. I would be heart-broken if my brother could not attend my wedding. I would be upset if my step-sister (who I have seen less than 20 times in my life, and I really don’t have a close relationship with) couldn’t come in for the wedding. I think even if your brother is flaky, you have the opportunity here to be the bigger person and support him in NC even if he should flake out.
Good luck in whatever decision you choose.
Post # 73
I’d just like to second the “Your birthday happens EVERY YEAR, whereas a wedding happens ONCE ” train of thought on this thread.
Post # 74
I think if you feel that your birthday is much more important than his wedding you shouldn’t go. I originally was going to say wedding, but your attitude about the whole situation shows that you wouldn’t be a supportive and caring guest.The worrying about his flakiness seems more like a cop out when you couple it with all those other complaints.
Post # 75
Please be considerate of your brother’s feelings. Rethink your priorities.
EDITED OUT FIRST RESPONSE: Sorry, I may have been too snarky.
Post # 76
hello. everyone. i really didnt want to post but a certain post @ teaserama made me want to respond. i totally agree with everything she stated.
Sorry my family is not the brady bunch. im tired of seeing it doesnt matter in the end “family is family” that saying might work with your family but that doesnt fly with my family. Also just because I stated I wanted to get my drink after the reception is done doesnt mean i want to get pissed drunk. I want to get my drink on because im celebrating my b day.
I havnt seen or heard from my lil bro for 20 years until my mom called me a while ago and said he was getting married and only wanted the imediate family to come. My mom told me he didnt want to deal with the rest of the family or even his own dad coming to his wedding because he didnt want to deal with the drama. Im the same way as well..if I know you are going to act like a drunkin monkey, start drama or a fight at my wedding, family or not you’re not getting invited. He also spilled the beans and said he didnt want any of siblings there and maybe just his mom, so the siblings are coming because his fiance insisted.
So without telling you my whole life story. We are not a close knit family. I was fine with going to his wedding without a hitch. but he had his little fall out with his future mrs. and changed the date to my b day celebration. he’s been with this woman for 5 years i think thats enough time to figure out if he wants this woman in his life or not. Im just second guessing because i dont want to deal with the drama if my brother decides to get cold feet @ his wedding that originally we werent invited to, on my b-day!