(Closed) Should I go to the bridal shower?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2316 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

… people who are not invited to the wedding shouldn’t be invited to the showers. Period. So that’s really weird that you’re getting all these invites!

Post # 4
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Typically the same guests are invited to shower and wedding…unless of course if your officemates decided to throw an office shower knowing you’re not invited to wedding. Maybe the hosts of the events is unaware and just invited the same group. I would probably choose one, not both

Post # 5
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would go only if you really like your co-worker and would be happy to go.  If it’s out of obligation or if you don’t want to go (which seems to be the case), I would not go at all.  If I were invited to a bridal shower, I’d expect to be invited to the wedding, as well.  I am also not a big fan of showers so I’d be quite annoyed if I were you, tbh, to not be invited to the wedding but to the shower. 

I don’t see why she couldn’t invite you and your other co-workesr, anyway.  To save on invitation costs?  All of my guests are from out of state and I invited everyone I’d like to attend, even to those whose chance of coming is not high due to distance.  I thought it was more important/better to invite than not to invite, and whether they come or not is up to them.

But this is just mho.




Post # 6
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I wouldn’t go to the shower. That’s pushing a bit on the gift grabby scale. It’d be one thing if you guys, knowing you weren’t going to be invited, decided on your own to host a little shower for her. You’re already going to her bachelorette and are bringing a little gift there, that’s enough.

How friendly are you with this girl? I am kind of weirded out by her “I’m not inviting you unless you REALLY want to go” thing. She should be inviting who she wants there. If people can’t go, then they decline with regret. You don’t ask people to make a decision before you even send an invite.


Post # 8
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know it is common to have a “work shower” where everyone is invited. I prob. wouldn’t go if you A) Aren’t that close B) Already bought a gift for the other party and C) Aren’t invited to the wedding.

I agree if your not going to the wedding than no shower invites. I was invited to a small shower with about 15 girl friends and then when the wedding invite didn’t come my way I felt it was really tacky. So did about 5 of the other girls who weren’t invited to the wedding but where there too. Awkward…

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