(Closed) Should I Go To Their Wedding?!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I Go To Their Wedding?

    Yes - Be The Bigger Person

    No - You Will Just Make Things Worse

  • Post # 32
    Member
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    If you don’t go, your husband must still go. Correct?

    Post # 34
    Member
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’d go for that reason then.

    Post # 35
    Member
    7367 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

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    @MrsGreen23:  How much is to go the desitnation? And where is the destination?

    Post # 36
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

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    @solidarity:  You would honestly not tell a SINGLE SOUL, not even your HUSBAND, if you knew that his friend was cheating on his fiance? I don’t believe that for a second.

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    @Sharebear:  +1

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    @BoxerLady:  +1.

    This is definitely a tough call… I voted don’t go, but I also think that your not attending could put a damper on your friendship with Matt. I guess only you can really make the decision, based on that fact. Is being uncomfortable for a few hours at a wedding of a total biotch and your friend worth it, knowing that if you skip it, your friendship could be in jeopardy.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

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    @MrsGreen23:  Well if you feel that way then you are back to square one….go and support your friend and husband (while ignoring the dumb bride) OR you let your hubby go on his own.  It’s a tough call but if I were in your shoes I would let my DH decide.  If he really wants to go, I would go.  But it would be for my DH, not the cheater and certainly not the idiot bride.  Good luck!

    Post # 39
    Member
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    If it were me, I would go to the destination and have a little vacation with my fiance, but not go to the wedding.  Fair or not, your presence causes them distress, and that’s not the way to start a life together.  If you can afford it, and you like the destination, I’d stay for a few days, and go shopping/have a girly day on the wedding date.

    Post # 40
    Member
    2966 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MrsGreen23:  I don’t think you’re actually invited to the wedding….and in all honesty, I woulnd’t go even if I was invited. 

     

    I vote neither of you go. 

     

    EDIT: I just read your comment about your husband already going…Uhm, this is tough. I can’t tell you what to do – but I can tell you that if someone treated me like dirt, I would not go to their wedding. 

     

    🙁 Sorry you’re going through this. 

     

    Post # 41
    Member
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

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    @Baroness_Meg:  No, I didn’t say I wouldn’t tell a single soul. I’d probably tell my husband, but I’d stay out of it and urge him to stay out of it. I’d likely feel differently if I had a close relationship with the fiancee, but you don’t. You said she doesn’t even like you, never has. So I don’t understand getting involved. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Honestly, I’d go. Screw that b****. It’s totally ridiculous for your DH to be IN the wedding, and you can’t attend? Psh. 

    Plus, then you get a vacay out of it. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    679 posts
    Busy bee

    Hmmm, this is tough.

     

    I don’t understand why she would be directing so much anger at you. Is it possible that Matt may have had a little crush on you at some point in time without you and your husband knowing? That and plus you were the one that found out about the cheating and told your husband who then confronted Matt may have in some weird way made her feel even more insecure in your presense with her relationship. 

     

    If your husband goes, you go. I’d just stay as far away from her as possible the whole night. 

     

    Post # 44
    Member
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I wouldn’t go to the wedding but I would go to the destination. ESP since he is going no matter what.

    Post # 45
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

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    @mjoyelle:  I agree. Go.

     

    I know it will be hard to pretend that nothing has happened, but use this opportunity to prove that the past is the past and what occured in the past is best left there. I say this for multiple reasons:

    1. If Matt & Mr. Green are such good friends, then you will obviously be a part of their (Amy & Matt’s) lives whether she like it or not. However, just because they are BFF’s doesn’t mean you 2 have to be (I’m not very close with my FI’s BFF’s wife, and generally only see her at large gatherings [even though we see his BFF almost weekly] we are civil and friendly, I’m not asking or looking for more).

    2. She can resent you all she wants, but as long as you act as though nothing has happened (easy since nothing happened to you), maybe she can learn to come to terms with her husband’s actions (and that they are his actions she’s angry with and not yours).

    3. Maybe one day she (and maybe he) will thank you for bringing his actions to light. What kind of a relationship would they have if this hadn’t been brought to the open? You could have saved their marriage before it even started. 

     

    Since your Fiance is the best man, and he doesn’t want to miss it (and I can tell you don’t really want to either). Go, be happy for them, be friendly, and congratulate with a sincere smile.

    Good Luck!

    P.S. I wouldn’t tell anyone else. It’s none of their business, and it’s not yours to share, but you knew that :o) .

    Post # 46
    Member
    2747 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I think your husband needs to tell Matt that the four of you need to sit and talk about this once and never talk about it again. Give Amy a chance to dig herself out and you a chance to have this all sorted out before making a decision. Your husband needs to put his foot down in the end by saying that he will go only if you are WELCOME not obligated to come. If Amy refuses to resolve this problem, your husband should not go. I don’t care if he’s known the guy for 20 years.

     

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