(Closed) Should I Go To Their Wedding?!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I Go To Their Wedding?

    Yes - Be The Bigger Person

    No - You Will Just Make Things Worse

  • Post # 48
    Member
    2914 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I vote go. Be there for Matt and for your husband. If Amy lets your presence ruin her day or whatever, then that’s really strange. It would seem that she dislikes you more than she loves Matt. If I were your DH, I would also definitely be strongly asking Matt if he could please stop Amy from badmouthing my wife. That’s definitely not cool.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1877 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @MrsGreen23  Don’t go if you aren’t wanted.  It will save you trouble.  Your husband is a grown man and truly doesn’t need you there to support him, although it’s sweet that you wanted to.  

    Post # 50
    Member
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @MrsGreen23  if I were you I would travel with your hubby to the destination spot but NOT attend the wedding… I’d make the actual wedding day a spa day for myself or find something else to do while my husband was attending the wedding.. That way you can still be able go on vacation with your hubby. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    1979 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I would go.  I think it would be silly and overdramatic not to go.  Your hubby is the best man (and I think you should be a package deal).  Your invite may have been “lost in the mail,” but the groom said you are invited and wants you to be there.  That’s enough. 

    Who cares about the bride?  I wouldn’t, it’s not HER day, it is half the groom’s day too.  I don’t think it matters if the bride doesn’t like you.  Chances are the bride or the groom dislikes at least one of their other half’s friends or family members (Lots of people detest their MILs!).  But part of getting married is choosing to deal with all those people you may not like because you really love your spouse.

    Eat cake and be there with your man!! Dance, smile, and have a great time!!  The vacation part is just a bonus!

    Post # 52
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @MrsGreen23  Can you talk to Matt?  Ask him how he feels about it?  Tell him you feel uncomfortable, you’re not even sure you’re invited, and you don’t know if you should go.  See what he says, maybe he’ll agree that it’s best you don’t go, and that he won’t be upset – or maybe he’ll tell you he would love to have you there regardless of her attitude.  Then you’ll have your answer.

    Post # 53
    Member
    470 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I would say not go … It would just be painful for you and the bride, and quite possibly everyone involved. Save yourself some money and awkwardness and let your husband go with your congratulations.

    Post # 55
    Member
    7309 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I wouldn’t go where I wasn’t wanted, and I don’t think Mr. LK would choose to go either. It would not be because we wanted to “punish” the guy. It would be because Mr. LK puts me first, and he would not tolerate someone in his social circle being a b*tch to me.

    Post # 56
    Member
    467 posts
    Helper bee

    I really don’t see a way your friendship with Matt can really continue.  If you and your hubby don’t like his wife, and she doesn’t like you and is overtly hostile to you, the frienship is pretty much doomed.  

    When friends marry someone you don’t like, the friendship naturally ends slowly.  It sucks, but its the truth. She will be his top priority, and she will prevent you from guys from seeing him.  I wouldn’t go.  Try to continue supporting Matt if you want, but, in the long term, its a lost cause. 🙁  

    Post # 57
    Member
    2260 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    I really like 

    View original reply
    @lia22‘s idea. I personally wouldn’t go but I coud see how going would provide a united front. You know you are not responsible for Matt’s actions and if she treats you as if you were, then thats on her. Good luck on whatever you choose 🙂 

     

    Post # 58
    Member
    33 posts
    Newbee

    @MrsGreen23  I would personally decline the “invite”.

    Even though you have repaired your frienship with Matt, the wedding day is about “the couple” and if she doesn’t like you and is holding anger towards you for what he did then the day won’t be pleasant for anyone of yous.

    Clearly she’s had an issue with you from the start and this has just made things worse. The thing is that while Matt might have apologised to you for what happened and how they claimed they didn’t want you in their lives, the fact is he took advantage of his partner’s dislike to you to deflex responsibility off himself for what he did.

    He’s basically gotten off scott free and you’ve copped the blame for his actions. He might be a friend but i would not attend the wedding and maybe accept that you will never have a normal friendship with him.

     

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