(Closed) should I have a groomsmen meeting??

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
6221 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think that would be fine. Just because they’re groomsmen doesn’t mean you can’t interact with them, and I’m sure they all know that you’re doing the bulk of the planning

Post # 4
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you will come off as a bridezilla if you attempt to attend. If you are that worried that the men can’t figure out what to do without your direction I would draft an email for him to send them.

You can include whatever information you think they need to have, but it really should come from your Fiance.


Post # 5
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Why don’t you do it at your house, order them pizza or cook them something, maybe get them some beer.  While they are eating go over everything with them and then disappear and let them hang out just guys.   Keep everything fun and don’t get stressed if they start goofing off.  Just get the info out and tell them if they have any questions call Fiance.

Post # 6
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think inserting yourself into what is your groom’s territory is a bit out of bounds; I would simply ask the groom to spend a little time on the Internet, come up with his ideas and interpretation of how things are supposed to go, then talk together to make sure you’re both on the same page.

This may have the happy side-effect of giving your fiance a sense of accomplishment when the day is done, which would (hopefully) translate into him being more capable to figure things out on his own the next time he’s in an unfamiliar situation. There will be many firsts for you in your lives together; would you rather have to have a meeting with him for all of them, or have him talk to google on his own and find his own way?

Post # 7
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My Fiance is responsible for wrangling his men. We have discussions about stuff, he passes on the information they need. He picked out the tuxes all by himself and then called and emailed each one with all the particulars. Funny enough, it’s all getting done.

Post # 8
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I have the same worry about my groom and his boys. I’m playing with the idea of inviting the entire bridal party to dinner at our house as a way for the groomsmen to meet the bridesmaid in a relaxing atmosphere while still getting the info out. My entire Bridal Party is local though so that may  not work for you

Post # 9
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My husband and I honestly just sent everyone an email and said “here’s what you need to do/where you need to be at what times” and then folks emailed us back with any questions.  I don’t really think that it’s rocket science for them lol.  Just make sure that they know where they need to get fitted for their tuxes/pick them up/when and the timeline of events (and any transportation if you’re offering it)…from there, I can imagine they can figure it out.  

Post # 10
484 posts
Helper bee

I’d perhaps just make a list and talk your groom through it. Most of the stuff is just common sense anyway so make sure he’s happy with it and he can then use the list to inform his groomsmen. That way you get the peace of mind of knowing that there is a list but you don’t get involved in what really is guys time. I’d just be careful to frame it as a ‘hey babe, just to help you out a bit, here’s something to get you started with the grooms stuff, you can take it from here’ rather than ‘here’s a list of things you need to do, and I will constantly check if they are all getting done.’

Just speaking from experience here, I’m a type-A control freak who has had to learn the mantra ‘I’m marrying a very intelligent and perfectly capable man. Let go and put some trust in him.’ <repeat>

I’m sure you’re not as bad as I am but this approach worked for me!

Post # 11
1357 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Depends. My groomsmen consisted of my own brother and 2 guys I am also good friends with, so I hung out with them plenty during wedding planning. If you’re not close with these guys, though, then it could be weird.

I think as long as you have a good way of communicating what needs to be done and when, you should be fine, no formal luncheon necessary.

Post # 12
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You could try but I don’t think they’ll pay any attention to you, they’ll start goofing off, and you’ll get mad and lose your temper.  You know how “boys” are when they all get together.

I would just let it go.  They’re grown men and I’m sure they can handle things.  Just make sure you communicate everything to you Fiance and he communicates it to his best man.  I’m sure everyhing will work out fine.  🙂

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