Post # 1
Long story short, I am having a VERY low key backyard wedding. There is no ‘official’ bridal party. FI’s best friend will hold the rings, my sister is basically taking on MC because she has had more experience with weddings than me. They are our closest people and will act as BM/MOH but aren’t expected to do any of the traditional stuff or put out any money other than something they would like to wear if they don’t have something. Not sure if this matters, but just as an idea of what we’re doing.
My officiant asked if we were having a rehearsal that she should be at, and I didn’t initially think we should, and then I realized I don’t know what I’m doing.
We will have a meeting a few weeks prior to pay her and go over some details, at which time I am assuming we will do a quick verbal run through of how the ceremony will take place.
Is that enough? If we have a rehearsal it’s just going to be in our yard and it’s basically practicing our walking. We can practice our vows in private beforehand. Does a full rehearsal with her there really give me much more for this simple of a wedding than just our sitdown meeting? In that I really mean we only have to coordinate ourselves and our BM/RB and MOH/MC, not a whole procession of people.
Parents will sit before the ceremony starts and are not running up the aisle ahead of us like it’s The Price Is Right.
Any advice welcomed!
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
We had a church wedding and we invited our priest to our rehearsal dinner and to our weddding reception.
Post # 3
I think it would be helpful to walk-through things with her, whether verbally a few weeks beforehand or actually going through the motions right before the wedding. Even with a low key wedding, it can be helpful to know what to expect. In the end, you’re standing up in front of a bunch of people doing things that you wouldn’t normally do, so having a chance to practice can calm the jitters.
Some things that I found were really helpful for our rehearsal was knowing where my bouquet would go, knowing when the rings would be passed out and to whom (will your FI’s BF give them both to you at the same time? one at a time?), knowing who would be holding my vows (since I didn’t have a pocket) and then who would take my vows when I was done with them, as well as just simple things like where to stand so that we weren’t crowding the officiant. We had a few more ceremony elements and a bridal party, but it just helped everything come together.
These are all minor details, but without discussing them first they can be a bit fumbly and awkward. Not the end of the world, just something to think about.
Post # 4
Thank you! It’s these kinds of things I didn’t even think about. I have the general gist of weddings as a guest but I didn’t even think about where my bouquet or vows will go.
I wish there was a one-day service for someone to spot check you and give you a list of things you may have forgotten! The ‘stuff’ isn’t hard for me, it’s the ceremony I’m blind to planning.
Post # 5
My sister married last year and was so thankful to do a rehearsal beforehand. She was so nervous her wedding day just before the ceremony, her Maid of Honor, along with Officiant organized everyone and lined everyone up. Because of the rehearsal everyone walked well down the aisle together and as soon as she began to walk, she realized she began to get more calm and was so grateful to her bridal party that everything went along seamlessly. Even the children were perfect, walking the step-pause-step in sync.
You needn’t bring the person marrying you to the rehearsal dinner, unless of course, you feel that person is so wonderful, you want to share that moment. But there is no obligation unless, of course, it is a Pastor from your church that you grew up with or a Rabbi from your temple.
Have two songs – one for the parents/bridal party and then another one for you. The songs should not be too fast, but a good medium tempo – something that feels like a march. Best!
Post # 6
Our wedding was more formal, but I found it super helpful to have a rehearsal with an officiant for a number of logistical reasons (what side does everyone stand on? how far apart do we all stand? where does my bouquet go? what do we do with the rings?). I had never been in a wedding before, so there are a ton of little details I never even thought of. If we hadn’t practiced first our ceremony would have been more clumsy and awkward.