(Closed) Should I have an open bar for hubby's surprise party?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

What do you mean that things are done differently in New York?  

Didn’t you post about this yesterday, and were told that if you’re hosting an event, you pay? If you don’t want to pay, but you want everyone to come, then just make it casual.  Like others said in the other thread, just tell your friends, “Hey, we’re going to meet at Lucky Strike at 9pm for Gregory’s birthday — bring your bowling shoes!”  If I got that invitation, I would assume I would be paying for my own stuff.

Post # 6
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Maybe find out if the place can do you a couple of platters of finger foods – it doesn’t have to be more than just enough for a nibble and maybe a bucket of beers or couple of bottles of wine and then everyone pays for their own stuff. It’s a bit of a half way point but it still makes you look hospitable without forking out a lot of cash.

Post # 7
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would figure out how much you want to pay and what you can afford. If you can afford open bar, great! and you may get a better turnout. If you can afford to cover the bowling lanes and a few app’s, then make it less of a formal party and more of a informal get together and people will assume they are paying their own way. You could also consider springing for a few pitchers or beer or have drink tickets where you pay for one or two drinks for everyone, but not eveything.

Post # 9
Member
5788 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

If you’re hosting I think you should pay. Only way to avoid this is making it less formal, buying like 5 pitchers of beer and letting people take care of themselves after that. Also check out Brooklyn Bowl and Bowlmor, I prefer both to Lucky Strike

Post # 11
Member
7829 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@mrsginmay:  If you’re inviting people to a birthday party, you would be expected to provide food and drinks. 

Post # 12
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

How formal of a party is this? Last weekend was FI’s bday, we just sent everyone an invite saying we were meeting up at a specific bar. No one expected us to pay for their drinks. However, is it a surprise party or taking place during a specific timeframe? Are gifts expected? If so, I would say you should pay for drinks and apps. I know Lucky Strike has good food and drink packages for parties. 

Post # 13
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think you have to do it either all or nothing.  I think it would be fine to say you want to surprise him for his birthday and get all his friends together at the bowling alley, and its going to be $x per person for bowling, finger foods, and open bar.  No one would bring gifts that way, it would be more of a get together having his friends all together for his birthday.  But I think if you actually want to host a party, and expect people to bring him gifts, you should really have everything paid for.

Post # 16
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@peachacid:  +1 that’s exactly what I was thinking!

Considering it’s a surprise party then yes I think you need to pay for food/drinks.  If I was invited to a surprise party I’d expect it was being hosted.  If you said hey, we’re going to dinner and bowling for Darling Husband bday if you want to join let me know, then I’d expect to pay my own way.

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