(Closed) Should I have both parents walk me down the aisle?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Who should escort me?
    Just father : (5 votes)
    17 %
    Both Parents : (22 votes)
    76 %
    other (explain) : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4824 posts
    Honey bee

    I wouldnt worry about the step parents because they never dreamed about walking you down the aisle and dont expect to participate in that.

    However, your dad probably has dreamed of it and expected it to be traditional so he is likely dissappointed, however he loves you enough to do what you want. He already stated that.

    Since you already spoke about it with your mom you would be disappointing her if you were to renege the offer.

    I think you will hurt the feelings of one parent or the other slightly no matter what you decide, but they both love you enough to do what you want.  So, decide what you want.

    Post # 4
    Member
    785 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Have both parents walk you.  I don’t see why it would take a moment away from your dad–he still gets to walk you!  But you’re right–both of your parents have contributed equally in raising you, they both have the right to walk with you.  And since it’s what you want, I think that’s what you should do.  I would do it too, but my mom is wheelchair-bound (for the time being, anyway) and also I don’t think she’d be too thrilled about the idea anyway….

    Post # 5
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    How long has your step mom been around?  Or, to word it differently – how old were you when your parents got divorced?

    Did your step mom have any part in raising you?

    I’m a little hesitant in you changing your mind, since your mom probably feels like that’s what’s going to happen.  I think it’s a sweet gesture and would be meaningful to both of them.  I would have a talk with my step-mom and just let her know what you are planning to do and that you mean no disrespect to her.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3364 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Coming from separated parents, it would make sense to have them both do it! Regardless of what people think, it matters most how YOU feel about it!

    Post # 8
    Member
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Go with your heart and don’t worry about what others think.  My Mother-In-Law wanted me to just have my father walk me down the aisle only.  I told her that I’m having my mother walk me down too as she has an important role in raising me.  Don’t let others try to convince you just because it is considered “traditional or unconventional” You don’t want to look back and have regrets in not having your mother walk you down the aisle, too.  I look back at my wedding pictures and am happy to have made the choice to have both my parents there. 

     

    Good luck with your planning,

    Rain

    Post # 9
    Member
    1486 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    have them both! do what you want!

    Post # 10
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    as long as neither are vehemently opposed to eachother then walk with both of them – they are both your parents

    btw, just make sure your aisle fits all 3 of you comfortably, ive been to a wedding where it seemed the bride was leading and dragging mom and dad behind as the aisle was small

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    1126 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @eloping: I agree completely – as long as your parents aren’t going to be dramatic about being in the same place together, I think it’s fine. 

    I voted “other” in the poll, just because I know what I’m doing but not necessarily what’s best for you.  I’m having both of my parents walk me down the aisle, but they’re still married and I checked with my dad first to make sure he wouldn’t feel slighted.  I think he was a tiny bit surprised but overall very happy with the idea.  In your case, it sounds like you want both your parents and that your dad wasn’t totally against it, so I’m sure it’ll be fine to have them both escort you!

    Post # 12
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee

    I could be in the minority here, but why would your step parent’s feelings even matter? That’s ridiculous, the step parents know that they did not create you, nor did they raise you and therefore should know their role as step parents. Being married to your Mom or Dad doesn’t make them your parents, or give them equal priviledges. I mean no disrespect to them or anyone on here who is or will be a step parent, but unless one of the bio parents have not been around, and the step parent came in his or her place and took that role then they will always be just that. Your step parents should not feel akward, they knew that your parents created a child before they came along and still chose to enter into that relationship/marriage, so they should respect that on YOUR wedding day. Is everyone, step parents and all going to stand up when they ask who is giving you away to be married (if that is a part of your ceremony)? Okay, enough of my ranting. Have them both walk you down the isle, but they should be able to sit with their respective spouses at the reception.

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