Post # 1
I am trying to decide whether or not I should have any bridesmaids and a Maid/Matron of Honor or just keep it simple. My decision is based around the fact that our wedding is fairly small (40 people) and it is a destination wedding. Originally we were not going to have a bridal party so that we could keep it simple, keep costs down and not exclude any of our friends as the closest of them will all be there anyway…..I am now starting to think perhaps I should have one, or two….
The reason I do want to have them is because I dont want to miss out on all the stuff that comes with having a bridal party i.e. having someone to come with you for dress fittings, having someone help arrange a bridal shower, getting ready with the girls on the day of the wedding etc.
I am so torn and not sure what to do….ANY suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Should I offer the position to two of my girls just for the above reasons or is that selfish? Should I only pick one to keep it simple and have her stand with me by herself?
My fiancee has chosen 1 best man who will stand with him during the service. If I had a sister it would be simple…but I dont so it would be my girlfriends…
Post # 3
@gemms28: You do whatever you want since it is YOUR wedding. But note that your girlfriends don’t need fancy titles to go with you to fittings and be a part of your bridal shower and wedding. They’re your friends and I’m sure they want to participate and help even without being bridesmaids.
Post # 4
If your Fiance has chosen someone you may want to choose someone as well, just to keep it even and have someone helping you out as well. But, if you think that you won’t be able to choose, I don’t think you need one! The only thing you will really miss is picking out bridesmaids dresses. You can still have good friends come with you to pick out your dress/do your fittings. I can’t remember who (maybe someone can help me out) but one of the past bees didn’t have a bridal party, but gave VIP passes to some of her closest girlfriends so they could spend the morning of the wedding with her, and help her get ready.
I think that you should go with your gut.
Post # 5
Here it is! It was Mrs. Lovebug who did the backstage bridal passes, such a cute idea if you don’t have a wedding party, but still have close girlfriends who you want to involve!
Post # 6
It really is up to you! A lot of the reason to have a bridesmaid is to show the person you have chosen that you care about them and want them to share in your special moment with you. The bridesmaids I chose are one really good friend, a female member of my fiance’s family, and then 2 girls that I am not necesarily close with, but that I would like to be closer to. So, I have 4 bridesmaids. And for me, it wasn’t about choosing people that were close to me but rather people that I wanted to share my day with.
But as kayberry said, you can still invite people who arent in your bridal party to try on your gowns and such with you! Just do what feels right to you.
Also, be sure to check if your ceremony venue has any restrictions on the precessional. I am doing a destination wedding as well, and they only allow 12 in the processional. So, with my 4 BM’s and his 4 GM’s and us, its already at 10. It shouldn’t be an issue if you end up doing only one or two, but just be sure 🙂
Post # 7
Since it is a destination wedding, the fewer the better. With Bridesmaid and Destination weddings, there is always drama. It is a lot to ask someone to buy a dress, travel to your wedding, etc. You will save yourself stress if you have 1 or none. I have been a bridesmaid in many weddings. With destinations there is always an upset bridesmaid regarding cost. You can still have your best friends come with you to things, and they will be happy to save money and still supoport you. They will be happier picking thier own dress, coming to your wedding if they can afford it, and you will most likely keep your friends after the wedding.
Post # 8
Even if you had bridesmaids, the only thing they are obligated to do is show up on the wedding day, wearing the outfit you pick. They are not required to go with you dress shopping, or organize a shower, etc. Conversely, any friend can go with you dress shopping or organize a shower or bachelorette party.
For our Destination Wedding, we stuck to two attendants for the two of us. And really, you don’t need to have them at all. It will already be expensive for your friends to attend; why give them the extra costs of being a bridemaid?