(Closed) Should I have her as part of my day? (Long, sorry!)

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

To me it almost sounds as if she’s jealous of something.  Your Fiance, the fact that you’re having a big wedding even though she said she wanted a JOP wedding…who knows?

Anyway, do you value her friendship?  An old high school friend of mine was expecting to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and when I told her she wasn’t going to be in the party, she definitely flipped her lid.  I didn’t want her to be in my party because she’s flakey, she’s never been that good of a friend and quite frankly I don’t agree with her lifestyle.  We’re no longer talking and you know what?  It doesn’t bother me other than the fact that Fiance and I miss her son.

Post # 4
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds to me like she wouldn’t make a good bridesmaid, since she seems wholely concerned about herself. If she doesn’t even want to discuss ideas with you now, she’s not going to want to as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 5
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Why don’t you try being honest with her? Tell her that you want someone to stand by you who supports your relationship and your way of getting married, and since it doesn’t seem like she does, then you dont’ feel like she should be a part of it. Could it dissolve the friendship? Sure. But, it could also make her pull her head out of her ass and actually want to be there for you.  Sometimes, people have a hard time seeing why someone else would want the elaborateness of a wedding. It might also be that now that she has a kid with this guy, she really does want what you have, but thought she didn’t deserve it, and now she’s jealous that you are having what she secretly wants.  Just some thoughts…but I really think honesty is the best policy. She is supposed to be your BFF, right?

Post # 6
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Invite to the wedding,but dont have her in the wedding party.It sounds like she will be a handful.

Post # 8
38 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would invite her to the wedding, but she may be a problem in terms of the bridal party.  I had a similar issue with a friend and I was really on the fence about including her in the bridal party.  My Maid/Matron of Honor urged me to consider how the other girl was acting and how that might put additional stress on me having to deal with her through all the bridal party events and wedding planning. I really wanted to include her, but I knew there woud just be more problems that I didn’t need along the way.  I guess if she’s not very supportive now, is that the kind of bridesmaid you would want?

Post # 9
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would have her as a guest but I dont know about having her in your wedding. It would seem to me at least that the people that stand up with you on your wedding day are the ones that support you and your relationship not people who are critical.


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