- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I have a friend–we’ll call her J. J has been my BFF sice wet met at the beginning of high school, so about 15 years, now. Back in high school we used to talk about our future weddings all the time, thumbing through bridal mags, and throwing ideas off each-other, always saying how an honour it would be to be a part of each-other’s bridal party, and so-on.
Skip ahead to early ’10 after Fiance and I first got engaged. J had just started a new relationship with a guy she met online, and it just so happens the he lived about 20 mins. away from me. She came to visit me for a week in January, and we wound up going to a local bridal show. During the bridal show, she wasn’t very responsive to any ideas, and she spent the whole time txting her new boyfriend. In fact, he ended up meeting us there, and she wound up leaving me to go have dinner with him, and his brother who also lived in town. Blah, blah, blah.. she also found out she was pregnant that same week.
Skip ahead to June ’10–FI and I had split, and J moved over 4,000kms away with her now-FI, as he’s in the Air Force, and had been posted. We still keep in contact through mail, Facebook, e-mails, and whatnot, but I seem to be doing the majority of the correspondance.
Oct. ’10–Her/their son, K is born.
March ’11–FI and I get back together.
This past June, J, baby K, and J’s Fiance come back to town for a week to visit. We get together a few times, and things feel normal/natural–like no time had passed, and we’re back in high school again, BFFs for life. However, any time I mention anything to do with wedding planning, J quickly shoots it down by calling it “stupid” (wedding dress shopping, for example), or by saying that she could never plan a wedding, and that she wants a simple JOP thing. I understand that everyone has different tastes/wants, but it bugs me that because I don’t have the same ideas as her, she blantantly just doesn’t seem to care about my day.
On top of that, I just received a FB message from her, last night, stating that she didn’t know I was moving in with Fiance again (she knew there was talk about it, but didn’t know it was happening?), and trying to give me advice about our relationship; hoping things work out this time. I understand that she’s probably just being cautious about things for me, but wouldn’t a simple, “I’m happy for you!” be better (even if faked)? She’s never asked how things have been lately, or even congratulated us on our reconciliation, so it’s not like she knows how incredibly well things are, anyway.
She still goes on-and-on about being a part of my bridal party, too.. and, I have a feeling that if I don’t have her as a bridesmaid, she’ll flip her lid, and never speak to me again (she just tore a strip off a mutual friend/her cousin last week about the same issue)..
Nevermind the fact that she just had her JOP wedding on Tuesday, and I couldn’t be there for her. I’m not bitter, but I find it funny that she still expects to be part of my day after all she’s said, and after breaking our briday party ‘pact’ (we never really had one–just an understanding, so-to-speak).
IDK.. it just seems that everything she says to me these days, or does rubs me the wrong way. As much as I love her, and value our friendship, I don’t know if I should trust her with being a part of the bridal party. It’s hard, because I always thought my BFF would be beside me, but if she’s so hurtful, is it really worth it? At this point, I’m not even sure she’s accepting of my relationship with Fiance after the split.