(Closed) Should I have just kept my mouth shut?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Should I have kept my thoughts on my e-ring to myself?
    Yes. That's too hurtful of a thing to tell your FI, you should've just worn the ring with pride. : (81 votes)
    69 %
    No. It should be a ring you love, and you were right to speak up. : (15 votes)
    13 %
    No, but you should have told him right after he proposed, instead of waiting so long. : (19 votes)
    16 %
    Other, please explain below! : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Unless you really, really don’t like it, you shouldn’t have said anything… it’s not the rings looks that count, I’m pretty sure your FI’s happiness is more important to you, and he was probably hurt by what you said. Very few girls get the ring they would have picked out, but you fall in love with it because he tried his hardest ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 4
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee

    Hmmmm this is tough! I totally get your side (because I am a girl) but I understand why he could be hurt. I mean.. truly.. if you want the perfect ring you should ask the person you are buying it for! Its like buying a gift you like for someone else..but not getting their input at all.. I would have spoken up.. But I spoke up about jewelry my Fiance bought me for my bday and I think he was a bit hurt too.. better to tell him than to never wear it though! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Okay, I don’t find anything too terrible about what you’re saying. You just want to reset the ring with the same stones and add two. I don’t feel like that is changing what he picked out to an extent that it’s “not” what he pictured you wearing. You do have to wear this too. However, I might would have waited until an anniversary or something special for that. Maybe try on your 5 year anniversary or something.

    Post # 6
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If it were me and Darling Husband, he would want me to have the perfect ring that I wanted and if I said I would like it altered a bit he wouldn’t mind. He’s pretty thick skinned though and he’s concerned with making sure that I’m happy since I’m wearing it and looking at it every day. When he gave me my ring, he told me a million times we could change it if I wanted to (although I didn’t want to). So personally, if I wanted to have something added or changed, I know it wouldn’t be a big deal.

    It sounds though, like your Fiance is a bit more sensitive so I think maybe you should have gone about it a bit more cautiously. I would drop it for now, and maybe later down the line talk about adding more stones (maybe for certain anniversaries/milestones), or have a custom wedding band that locks in with diamonds on it, so it looks more clustered on the sides.

    Post # 8
    Member
    10366 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Those rings look almost exactly the same to me. I don’t think this is worth hurting his feelings over!

    Post # 10
    Member
    10851 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @Bubu82: Darling Husband got me another ring for my wedding present that I thought was lovely, but that I just didn’t love. It looked HUGE on my finger (and felt huge too) and was the wrong size. Plus, he was already giving me my wedding band that day, so that with my Engagement Ring are the most important rings he could give me, I just felt weird having this other (concrete) one. It looked odd to me. SO a couple weeks after the wedding and honeymoon, I talked to him about it. I felt terrible but he was really understanding and echoed what a PP said: Better to spend the money on something I love to wear, and wear often than to have an expensive piece of jewelry sitting tucked away and never seeing the light of day! We took it back and exchanged it for a necklace and pair of earrings which I wear nearly every day. I understand what you’re feeling, but I think it’s good you spoke up, and maybe once he’s through the hurt, he’ll surprise you and want to talk about it a bit more.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7295 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @crayfish: i totally agree! i had voted no, you were right to speak up, without looking at the other ring. now i that i looked at it, i don’t think its worth changing.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3049 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    It’s ok if you don’t like the ring… but you told him you did. And you even told us that you did. Where it all goes wrong is that you started looking at other rings. Why did you do that? Of course there is going to be a bigger and better ring out there. You will see plenty of them during your lifetime. But that is the one he worked hard for to get for you. I think if you initially didn’t like the ring, then it would have been fine to discuss other options. But it wasn’t until later that you decided on something else. Do you really think you will settle, or will you keep finding other ones that you like? I’m not trying to be mean. I want both of you to be happy with the selection. It just seems a bit underhanded.

    But as said before, you will be wearing it for a lifetime. So you might as well get one you like. ๐Ÿ™‚

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