(Closed) Should I have kept my mouth shut on facebook?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you write posts on Facebook about your wedding?

    Yes, I'ts no big deal

    No, I don't want people assuming they are invited

    No, It's like talking about your wedding to someone and then not inviting them

  • Post # 3
    1137 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    It’s a personal preference.

    I made posts on mine, but not daily (or even weekly). Just randomly, like for example when we set the date. I had numerous comments from friends about they can’t wait, and one even said he may not be able to make it due to work (yet it was months out). None of these people were being invited, as I was trying to keep the guest count under 100. I never told them, just didn’t invite them. I haven’t heard a thing about it…

    Post # 4
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’m guilty of posting way more then I should too…I wouldn’t worry about it…the people that love you that want to be there for you, but can’t will want to know these things…its easier to update facebook then to call and tell 226 individual people that the save the dates are on their way, or whatever…so I say post away!

    Post # 5
    4799 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Yes, you should stop posting all the fb stuff about the wedding – it’s kinda rude going on and on about a party to people who are not invited to it.

    Post # 6
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I’m not posting anything about the wedding on FB. We know soooooo many people who I’m sure will think they’re entitled to come cause we were friends 5 years ago and we’re having a just-family-and-close-friends wedding, but some people won’t understand that. I’m actually asking everyone not to talk about it a lot.

    Post # 7
    2583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t post anything detailed, but I do mention wedding stuff sometimes. Some people think it’s rude, but I think it depends on your age and your friends. It hasn’t been a problem for me, I guess people either know me really well or not even close to well enough for an invitation…. how distant are you talking? And are you friends? I’d be a little weirded out if someone came out of nowhere implying they’d be invited but it happens. I wouldn’t stop posting, I know my friends and family like to know where I’m at with plans.

    Post # 8
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

    I didn’t post about it at all. I thought it was kind of like talking about it with a group of people who weren’t invited. If someone posted about it on my wall (“I can’t wait until Oct. 1!”), I just said something generic like “I’m getting so excited!”

    Post # 9
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I decided from the begining to not post anything especially since from engagement to wedding its only 3 months. But we are having a very small thing and I am only inviting friends I talk to all the time, no aquaintances. So nobody aside from close family and friends know. We met at work so there is also a lot of coworkers who are mutual friends who I think are expected to be invited but I said no.

    They will find out over FB when its too late to say anything rude.

    But then again thats just me, I did the same thing when I was pregnant. I didnt announce it till after DD was born and they all flipped a lid and thought it was a joke lol… It was Priceless!

    Post # 11
    2583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    View original reply
    @Angelz_love: Okay, that doesn’t even count as a cousin. My Fiance is my 7th cousin and everyone agrees it’s fine, lol.

    I see it the way you did… I love reading about other peoples’ engagements and marriages and kids, I love keeping up with people, even if they’re only friendly acquainances. Then again, I’m 20, so everyone I know has FB and compared to most of them I post very little.

    Post # 12
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    well im going to go against the grain here, im excited about my wedding and i post about it alot on fb. My fb is only open to friends and my family and 92% of them are invited to the wedding. This is the first wedding on both of our sides in a long time so are familys are super excited so i get messeges, wall post and comments all the time about the wedding! FB to me is an awesome way to keep my friends in family in the loop during out planning process, esp our family that lives too far away.

    It really depends on who you stay connected with on your FB. I dont see anything wrong with posting something that you are excited on your facebook page.

    Post # 13
    2246 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I write about my wedding stuff on occasion.  Like once every other week, or so.  Well, maybe more than that now that I’ve really been getting deep into the plans.  What I do is I hide my status updates from all people who I don’t plan to invite, but would expect an invitation.  That way, they have no idea what’s going on.

    Post # 14
    775 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I post about my wedding all of the time and my cousin was like I cannot wait to see your wedding! And I said to her oh well, you wont. It’s a destination wedding all of the way in michigan and its a “small affair” when really its not that small.

    Another cousin kept talking about how she couldnt wait to come to my wedding. I wasn’t going to invite her then she straight up asked me if shes invited. she gave me the guilt trip and I gave in :/

    Post # 15
    3315 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    About the only thing I did on public Facebook posts was to change my status to “engaged.”  Otherwise, anything about the wedding was posted only to a private group I set up for invited guests.  And even there, I limited myself to logistics.  My assumption was that none of my friends was going to be as excited about wedding details as my wife and I were.

    Post # 16
    395 posts
    Helper bee

    From the other side, I enjoy when brides post things about their weddings, even if I’m not invited. For instance I have a friend from HS who got married last weekend and I’ve actually really enjoyed all her status updates about planning! I never expected to be invited since I havn’t seen her in years, but I’m still excited for her and I can’t wait to see pictures! I think as long as you’re careful to not make every single post about your wedding then you should be fine. Also, don’t post every 5 minutes (ugh!) and don’t post any (wedding) drama.

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