(Closed) Should I have kept my mouth shut on facebook?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you write posts on Facebook about your wedding?

    Yes, I'ts no big deal

    No, I don't want people assuming they are invited

    No, It's like talking about your wedding to someone and then not inviting them

  • Post # 17
    520 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I agree with those who have said that they’ve been posting details. 

    I’ve tried not to be like “invitations are out!” so that people don’t feel excluded but I did mention that I was working on them, or when I said I was confused about centerpieces. I’ve posted how excited I am that the day is coming up fast, but I’m trying not to post every day about it. And certainly haven’t in the past. I think a post here and there isn’t bad. Like Goodatlove said, even if Im not invited I love hearing people’s wedding details and I understand they can’t invite everyone they want to. 

    Post # 18
    48 posts
    • Wedding: November 2011

    If you’re posting things about the wedding constantly it might be a bit much for some people. I have an old work colleague on FB who is getting married next year and she is CONSTANTLY posting updates about wedding this and wedding that. From an outsiders perspective it starts to get a bit nauseating after the 5th update for the day.

    If it’s occasional and in between posts about other non wedding stuff it’s not so bad.

    I am having to be careful with my FB as i have a lot of aquaintances on there due to business & hobbies. Some have sort of just assumed they would be invited and they are definitely not. There are going to be some noses out of joint for sure, but we have a small venue so I genuinely can’t invite them. I am therefore careful not to post any wedding planning details publicly.

    One thing you can do is set up a friends list of just wedding guests. That way you can post a status and actually set the privacy for that status to be seen only by the wedding guest friend list. That way the non-inviteds won’t get loads of updates!

    Post # 20
    775 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I also talking about how I cant wait, but not EXACT details. Its a Destination Wedding so I mention where it is, but I never mentioned when I sent out Save the Dates and wont mention when I send out invitations. I do not post my wedding website and message people in a mass message who are invited any new wedding details or developments. 

    Post # 21
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

    I guess it depends who you have friended. I have about 300 friends (mostly sorority) and I know a lot of people from college who would expect to be invited. I didn’t want to deal with that. We only had a budget for 75 people. Once we were married, I started posting pictures. 🙂

    Post # 23
    4108 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    We actually are having a small, intimate wedding. So yeah- it wouldn’t really be nice if I did. I hardly ever post on fb period, let alone about the wedding.

    Post # 24
    5667 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I haven’t at all so far and probably won’t. Our guest list is super small but I probably wouldn’t even if it were bigger. The more I can do to avoid the “Can I come?”s the better.

    Post # 25
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee

    Since I am doing a small immediate family wedding I have not posted anything on FB about it because I don’t want the rest of my family knowing anything about it, or assuming they will be invited.

    Post # 26
    1575 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    My wedding is going to be a small Destination Wedding.. I post about it maybe 2-3 times a month, but I try not to say to much because about 97% of my friends list will not be invited, LoL.  I’ve already had a couple of people seemingly invite themselves *sigh*.

    Post # 28
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I havent posted one thing ever about it. and I do not talk to my coworkers about it unless they ask a question and I give a simple answer and change the subject.

    Post # 29
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think it’s pretty rude. I mean, if you were at a party talking to a group of people who weren’t invited about your wedding it would be rude, so why not Facebook?

    Limit yourself to maybe one comment a fortnight or so. It’s kinda like people posting daily photos of their kids. Nobody cares as much as you do and chances are people will get annoyed 😉


    Alternatively you could write statuses and hide them from those not invited?

    Post # 30
    7362 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I haven’t posted a single thing about our plans. No way. I’m a private person anyway, so it would be very out of charachter for me to become a chatty Betty. The only way people will find out is when I change my status. I refuse to be one of those FBers who goes on and on about their wedding. I just don’t get why anyone would care about the mundane details of planning my wedding…especially if they aren’t invited.

    Post # 31
    645 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m guilty of posting everything having to do with the wedding. like… “yay we just bought our wedding rings!”

     I’m sure it’ll all be ok! 

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