(Closed) Should I have kept my mouth shut on facebook?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do you write posts on Facebook about your wedding?

    Yes, I'ts no big deal

    No, I don't want people assuming they are invited

    No, It's like talking about your wedding to someone and then not inviting them

  • Post # 47
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I mentioned when I got engaged and got my dress and that is it. I’ve mentioned nothing else. Mainly because we’re doing a small family wedding, and there are certain family members not being invited. So I’d just like them to be surprised once they get the wedding announcements.

    To me it’s akward and a little rude to talk about it on there all the time to people who won’t be invited. Plus the whole fact that no one really cares about my wedding planning, and the ones who do ask me anyway privately.

    Post # 48
    5497 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2019 - Paris, France

    yea……….. I never post anything on FB.. You should prob stop too

    Post # 49
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I didn’t vote because it didn’t really have any of the “right” answers for me.

    I wrote a couple posts about the wedding, but mostly “xx days until the wedding”.  I did a couple about wedding frustrations, but not too much. 

    In MY opinion anyway, I know who my “close” friends on FB are and who are just there for the heck of it.  If a close friend was talking about their wedding and I hadn’t been invited, I’m not sure what I would do, but if it was a distant friend, I would probably just assume I wasn’t invited/probably not care anyway.  But maybe this kind of thinking isn’t common sense.

    Invitation=invited.  That’s it.

    Post # 50
    9478 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I have the bee to talk about wedding things.  I also made a private group on Facebook and invited family and friends part of the wedding.  That way I can communicate with all and keep everyone updated as much as possible.

    Post # 51
    1550 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I would stop posting. I posted about my wedding on fb, but not often. but everytime something awesome happened, like finding a great deal or choosing our wedding song, i posted. At the time, it seriously didn’t seem like anything. I was in planning mode for sure, and didn’t even stop to think of the 600 friends of mine on facebook who WERENT invited to the wedding.

    now that the wedding is all said and done, i have had a lot of people say to me that either they or someone they knew thought that i was being very rude and inconsiderate.

    Post # 52
    2495 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I hardly ever post anything on facebook as it is.  I am a very private person, so I use it when something significant happens in my life that I want to tell everyone quickly, but that’s about it.

    A few wedding posts here and there aren’t a huge deal – even if people aren’t invited, I’m sure they’re happy for you.  But if EVERY post is about you and your wedding, that may get old.

    Post # 53
    1663 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I posted little things like… ” I said Yes! ” … “date set!”…. “said yes to the dress!”… but other than that I don’t mention little details. I think it’s okay to post vague things every once in awhile, but don’t think people need to know every detail. Not only is it a bit much, but it ruins the surprise for those that are actually invited! 

    Post # 54
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I have a separate group list on facebook called “Wedding” that includes all of my friends who are A-List invited and none of the B-list, just in case.  I want to be able to share whatever I want without hurting anyone’s feelings.

    Post # 55
    126 posts
    Blushing bee

    It all depends on your friend list and how much you are already sharing. 


    Also, you can avoid all of that by making a wedding friend list, and set it up where wedding posts are only visable to those who are being invited.  Best of both worlds?

    Post # 56
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I’ve realized I might have an upper hand in not having to deal with people being butthurt about not being invited because I’ve moved to another country to be with my Fiance and get married. So the majority of my friend’s list automatically assumes they’re not coming because even if they were invited they can’t make the trip. Our big American reception and “mock wedding” in a couple years will be a big outdoor potluck BBQ DIY biker wedding free-for-all anyway. So my earlier advice might be a little biased.

    But I still stand behind it’s YOUR FB, post what YOU want as a general blanket rule 🙂

    Post # 57
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I will talk on occasion about it.  More about how crazy and over organized I am, so it isn’t quite directly related to the wedding.  When we booked our honeymoon i said something. I think that it is best to try and keep things more generalized, and maybe keep it to a minimum.  While it is an amazing part of your life, not every detailed needs to be known to everyone.

    Post # 58
    26 posts
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m not posting on FB just because I don’t want those who are coming to know what to expect. haha

    Post # 59
    37 posts
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @Angelz_love:  I set up a wedding website and listed it on the invitations and posted to that with all my wedding stuff.  I didn’t post any of that to FB however a couple people commented on my FB that they got the invitation.

    Post # 60
    964 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    From the very first post on FB about us being engaged it has been nothing but drama so I don’t post anything any more.  We were trying to keep it a secret from his exwife and I forgot that an old coworker that was on my page became friends with her and saw my update and told her and she has been sending me crazy messages from her page and from the kids page ever since.  So I’ll just create a wedpage that is password protected and just update that so everyone can know what is going on.

    Post # 61
    1941 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I have posted, but it’s been rare. Like, less than a handfull of times kind of rare.

    I posted a pic of the ring captioned with “I said Yes!” the day we got engaged, then probably only twice, and it’s been countdowns. Such as “Only eight months to go!”

    On two of my posts, I’ve had friends basically invite themselves, so I stopped posting about it.

    One friend is an old co-worker I haven’t seen in over 5 years, and she told me “I want to do your makeup!” Love her, but she has never in my life done my makeup. Not about to start for the wedding, sorry.

    The other was a grade school friend, but again, haven’t seen her in 3 or 4 years? She told me “Can’t wait to fly out to Cali for your wedding!” AND she’s been married TWICE since high school and didn’t invite me to either of her weddings.

    So, yeah …. I’ve stopped posting about it :/

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