(Closed) Should I have my FI’s sister as a bridesmaid?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I allow my FSIL to be in my wedding, even though I'm halfway through the planning process?
    Yes, your FSIL should be allowed to be a bridesmaid. : (10 votes)
    38 %
    No, your FSIL should remain a hostess. : (14 votes)
    54 %
    You should give her another duty, such as a reader. : (1 votes)
    4 %
    Who cares? Quit whining! : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7152 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    He should have been upfront with what he wanted. You aked to be sure and he said that was fine. I say go with how it is currently.

    Post # 4
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I agree… if it was so important then he should have spoken up in the beginning. It seems that it would be awkward to ask her to be a bridesmaid after she already knows she isn’t in the wedding party. In fact, I am sure that she is content with the situation as well… just explain to your fiance that since she is included everything will be fine. Besides… the bridal party isn’t that big of a deal! People will only remember the bride and groom and how in love they looked. Not who was in the bridal party!

    Post # 5
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    i really think your best bet is to graciously invite your Future Sister-In-Law to join the bridal party.  she will probably be happy to be included more formally and she is family—she will be in your life for a long time and i think it is best to include her now, forget about the inconvenience it causes by adding her later, and just move forward with her in your Bridal Party.  you still have plenty of time before your wedding to adjust her role.  also, personally, i would not like to be asked to be a “hostess” which sounds a bit more like unpaid labor (maybe you could ask someone YOU are close to, a friend who would understand that you need a bit of extra help, but i wouldnt give the role to any future in-laws, because i think it looks like you are just trying to include them without actually including them, and could be resented in years to come).  good luck!

    Post # 6
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    wanted to add—you are right that you gave your Fiance a chance to get things the way he wanted and he didnt take it, so understandably it is really frustrating that he’s changed his mind after you thought everything was sorted out.  but if you want a harmonious start to married life, and the joining of your families, it seems like not such a big deal to be the bigger person and let her join.  (you even get to say, “i told you so!” to your Fiance 😉  

    Post # 7
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I think it will work out best for you in the long run if you go ahead and make her a bridesmaid. It’ll be for a few hours…and so not that big of a deal, plus it’ll endear you to her as you two become sisters!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2532 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Totally agree with jesso and mrs. dee to bee…..I am having my FIs 3 sisters and 1 cousin and only 2 of my friends because family is family and they will become my family and they will be there for the rest of my life no matter what. I think you can sacrifice for a few hours to make your Future Sister-In-Law feel included and start your relationship with her off right!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1482 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’m torn.  I would have been hurt if my SIL had not asked me to be a bridesmaid… however, now that you’ve already selected your bridal party, it might seem like an afterthough to Future Sister-In-Law if you add her way later than your other bridesmaids.  Could you have her be a greeter/guestbook person and then have her do a special reading at your ceremony?  That might be a nice way to include her without having to add to your bridal party.

    And tell your Fiance enough with adding groomsmen!  It gets to a point where the boys start to feel like they are just “one out of ___”.  Especially if he was selected to be an usher first- if I was that usher, I’d be thinking to myself “So what, I wasn’t good enough to be a groomsman before but now I am just because you now need another dude?” Or maybe boys don’t think that way.  I don’t know :). 

    Either way, I think at this point, both the usher and sis will feel as though including them was an afterthought. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    130 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I agree with Miss Root.. It seems a little rude to “upgrade” someone so close to the wedding.  If that happened to me, I would think the bride was pressured against her will into doing it (which is the truth, but she shouldn’t have to know that) and I would feel uncomfortable and unwanted all day.  Best to leave things how they are and just make sure to be extra nice to her on the wedding day and tell her how excited you are to join the fam, etc.

    The topic ‘Should I have my FI’s sister as a bridesmaid?’ is closed to new replies.

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