(Closed) Should I have them or not?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m not sure I understand what your reservation is? Is it just that they live far away?

Post # 5
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Even if you don’t speak that often, when you see them is it like no time has passed at all?  I have friends like that and I wouldn’t dream of not including them in my wedding.  I tend to think that old friends are just different than new friends (they tend to live in different cities, and communication can be more sporadic), but that doesn’t make them less important.

Post # 6
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Three of my bridesmaids live out-of-state and we communicate about the same amount as you do with your friends.  I don’t think you should justify the quality of your friendship on quantity of time you correspond.  I say GO FOR IT if you think they’d feel honored to stand by your side!  Good Luck!

Post # 7
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you don’t want them in the wedding then please don’t ask them.  You don’t want to regret it later and you can’t kick people out of your wedding unless you want to ruin friendships.  You don’t have to have even sides.  Your Fiance can have 5 GMs and you can have 3 BMs and it will look perfectly fine.

Post # 8
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@vanillapeaches25:  I raised questions in my previous post because of one thing you said at the end of your post:  “These are girls that have always been and always will be there.” It seems you have been very close in the past, and you expect to remain good friends for a long time, so I wondered why the reservation.

Is it simply because you’re not as close to them as to your other BMs? From my perspective, all of your BMs don’t have to be equally close to you, but each one should be special to you.

Maybe one thing to do is ask yourself, if you do include them, what are you afraid might happen? If you can really get to the root of that, I think you’ll have your answer. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You are the bride, do what makes you feel happy. There is nothing wrong with having an uneven bridal party, looks kinda cool in pics I’ve seen. If these girls are your friends and you want them in your party, do it! If you feel like you are drifting away and the relationship is slowly dying, then dont bother. You don’t want to have people in there that you know you wont talk to a month after the wedding. I have 7 girls, some I see weekly, and others once a month, but I love them all and want them to share my special day with me. 

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