(Closed) Should I/ How do I tell my son’s father I’m engaged and getting married?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

You are getting married in 3 weeks? How long have you been engaged? Depending on these answers I have different suggestions.

If its just a shot gun marriage and you just got engaged, I would call him up and invite him to coffee shop (public place). It sounds like you have a good relationship and you want to respect that. I would jsut outright tell him and remind him that he is your sons father and you will do everything to support him in that role, but that your new soon-to-be husband also loves your son and will treat him well.

If you have been engaged for a long while, then he already knows and you need to apologize for not telling him soon.

He deserves to know from you since he is the father of your child and this man will be in your childs life. Wouldnt you want to know from him as soon as possible if he were to remarry and your son would be spending time with that new women?

And then I would suggest all going to dinner or the park or zoo or something so they can get to know each other. Like it or not, those two men will have to interact and it will be in the best interest of your son that they respect each other.

Post # 4
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You definitely have to!  Never arm him with something to use against you in a potential custody battle (seems dramatic, but I’ve seen it!)  Should you maybe do it over the phone?

Post # 5
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@lefeymw: agreed! 100%

I told DS’s dad as soon as I was seriously dating Darling Husband.. I just felt like he deserved to know and it wasn’t appropriate for him to find out from DS.

Post # 6
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Wow, this exactly the situation I am in. My ex and i split when my son was 4 mo old (he is now 5). I have not told my ex I am dating anyone and especially not that I’m getting MARRIED!

Best of luck to you, update us how it goes k?

Post # 7
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

My son told his dad before I got the chance so when I told him one day when he was picking my son up he said he already knew. (My son is almost 7 and his dad and i split when I was 3 months pregnant but we tried to make it work off and on until my son was 2.) I definitely think you have to tell him. I hope it goes well. 

Post # 9
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@PurpleQueenz: That seems very immature. So what, are you supposed to remain a nun forever? No men in your life? Ridiculous. I would make sure that you have a firm custody agreement in place so he doesn’t try to do anything sneaky.

Post # 10
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m in the same boat. TBH, I really don’t think it is much of my ex’s business. He has his life, I have mine. My son adores my SO. He also adores my ex’s SO. I have no obligation to inform him of my personal life and I dont expect him to do the same to me. Maybe its just me, but if it doesn’t directly pertain to my son, theres no need for him to know.

Post # 11
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@PurpleQueenz: at least you have told him now, he can either deal with or ignore, but don’t let him dictate anything between you and Fiance and your son 🙂

Post # 12
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

@PurpleQueenz: wow, he sounds like a real jerk.  well, hopefully it will all blow over.

you mentioned he has a bad temper. I don’t want to scare you– but do you think he would try to do anything bad at your wedding? is there a way you can get some guys to keep a lookout, just in case?

Post # 14
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

@PurpleQueenz: that’s good.  have fun on your wedding day, and congrats!

Post # 15
Member
5 posts
Newbee

@PurpleQueenz:  

I am curious as to how things have progressed for you since you got married and how things are between you and the dads?

The topic ‘Should I/ How do I tell my son’s father I’m engaged and getting married?’ is closed to new replies.

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