Should I insist he wears a wedding ring?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
Member
908 posts
Busy bee

My Darling Husband really hates wearing jewelry. He has a band but doesn’t wear it regulary. I just make sure he has it on for major events like weddings, etc. 

Post # 17
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

him wearing a ring was a non-negotiable for me. Im 100% okay with not being the “cool wife”. 

Post # 18
Member
383 posts
Helper bee

MrsBuesleBee :  

MrsBuesleBee :  I agree. ‘Uncomfortable with jewelry’?  I am confused. How is one so uncomfortable with a simple,non invasive wedding band? Then these women are way better than me because no way in hell is he not wearing his ring. I think it is hella disrespectful. EVERYTHING is a symbol and symbols are important where I come from. A wedding band represents that you took an oath with me and yes, people get hit on with or without a wedding ring but let’s not act naive.  A wedding band is a primary symbol to know if someone is married or single and I choose to represent to the world that we both took that oath. The ONLY exception for  me would be if he has a job that renders this impractical (and MOST jobs dont). But hey,to each her own.

Post # 19
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Darling Husband doesn’t really wear his ring either. He hates jewelry of all kinds and just doesn’t feel comfortable in it. I don’t necessarily insist, but I do ask him to wear it on special occasions and when we go out, just to be nice and wear it now and then. He usually does without any protest, unless it’s been like 3 days in a row I am asking him to wear it! I agree that a ring doesn’t make him any more or less attractive to other women, and they will do what they want regardless. So long as you trust him, it shuldn’t be an issue. 

Post # 20
Member
1605 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I met Darling Husband at the bar last weekend, he was there for an hour before I got there. And when I finally met him, he ran over to me, saying “save me, this girl has been hitting on me all night and I don’t know what to say to her!!” And guess what? He was wearing his wedding ring.

The ring doesn’t make other girls back off haha. So if he doesn’t want to wear it then he doesn’t have to 🙂 

ETA: Darling Husband is usually pretty clueless and will chat with a girl for a while before he realizes she’s hitting on him. So that’s the only reason he hadn’t told her to go away, haha.

Post # 21
Member
2923 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I would never insist my husband wear a ring because I wouldn’t like him to do the same.

My dad is a surgeon and I’ve never seen him wear his ring.  My mom doesn’t even know where it is.  I asked my dad once if he ever got hit on and he said he did, but always said sorry – married! and that was enough. My dad doesn’t wear a watch either.

My husband is an ER doc so I was expecting him to not want to wear a ring but I was pleasantly surprised when he said he wanted to.  He did warn me that he’s not a big jewelry guy so it turned out to be too bothersome at work not to get upset, but so far, he does wear it.  In fact he wears his ring more than I do.

It’s not a hill worth dying on.  Get one for the ceremony and see how he feels afterwards. I know quite a few guys that expected rings to be uncomfortable then were surprised at how they don’t even notice they have one on.

Post # 22
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee

If he doesnt like jewelry why not a tattoo? I dont know what having a ring on does for being hit on, but for a lot of people it probably makes them feel more relaxed. I like the thought of my boyfriend having a ring so that all he has to do is look at his hand to be reminded of our ever lasting love!

Post # 23
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Darling Husband always hated wearing jewelry. Much to my surprise, he wears his ring all the time. I wouldn’t make your Fiance wear a ring. However, you could tell him that you will gift him a ring—his choice. That’s what I did, and Darling Husband found one that he really likes. 

Post # 24
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

MrsBuesleBee :  I’m with you. My Darling Husband tried to play the “but my friends don’t wear their rings” card. 

 

He he wears his. He even likes it now!

Post # 26
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

I don’t like jewelry, in particular ring because it is uncomfortable and I work with my hand a lot, but Darling Husband want me to wear mine and he lovingly encouraged me to do it (whenever I forgot on our early times, he got the ring from where I put it down before and put it on my finger like how we did when during the wedding ceremony). He really want it so now I wear my wedding band all the time. There was I was hit on by a man one time when I didn’t wear wedding band because it was fixed and he asked, “so why you don’t wear your wedding ring?”

So yeah, insist that he wear the wedding ring. The ring might not make *all* women stop hitting on him, but it will stop a lot because it signifies he is already married.

Post # 27
Member
28 posts
Newbee

dw4518 :  I recommend doing a little reading about the “wedding ring phenomenon” and see if you feel the same afterward. Maybe start with this lighthearted but informative article:

https://www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com/blogs/the-wedding-ring-phenomenon.htm

In the end, you can’t control the behavior of others. Have you talked to FH about how you feel? Maybe he’d feel a bit more flexible about it if he knew your reasoning. It would just be a shame for him to be goaded/guilted into wearing it, and instead of looking at it and being reminded of your love, he’s reminded of your insistence a fight he’s trying to avoid.

Post # 28
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

I do agree that you cant force him to wear one, nor will it stop someone from hitting on him. However, for the ceremony purposes I’d still get one and he can carry it on his keychain (one of my college professors would do that and I thought that was interesting as he hated to wear jewelry so he wore it on his key chain) and that way he can wear it on big events such as others weddings or formal outings. 

Post # 29
Member
625 posts
Busy bee

dw4518 :  nah. He’s a grown man. If he doesn’t want to wear any jewelry then he doesn’t have to. My husband just fidgeted wth his ring when he first got it and it became a major distraction lol. He hasn’t worn it in years. I wish he did, but it’s just not his thing. 

Post # 30
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My husband will occassionally wear his on special occasions, but that’s it. It really doesn’t bother me. We know we’re married. I don’t feel like every stranger we run into needs to know that we’re married. I wouldn’t be okay with him telling me I had to wear my rings (I often don’t), so I don’t tell him to wear his.

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