Post # 31
m0thlight : Very interestng article. I had heard of mate poaching before, but always hypothesized that it had very different causes for men and women. Women, I think, may be subconsciously attracted to taken men because it proves that the man has been willing to settle down (in addition to having the resources to settle down), but I’ve always believed that men who do it do it for the opposite reason-because women who are attached are less likely to become attached to THEM, allowing them to pursue a mostly sexual relationship, or at least, a relationship that allows for multiple sexual partners.
Post # 32
First I would ask two big questions: 1) Why does he feel strongly about not wearing a ring? 2) Why do you feel strongly about him wearing a ring?
Assuming there are no red flags in your answers (ie- He doesn’t want to wear one because he thinks they’re uncomfortable, not because he plans on cheating. You want him to wear one, not because you don’t trust him, but because you like what it symbolizes), then I don’t see what the problem is if he doesn’t wear one.
But if he does just think they’re uncomfortable, he should try a few on. They can be pretty thin and lightweight. Whether or not he chooses to wear one every day, he absolutely should have one, even if it’s an inexpensive one that he only wears on special occasions.
Post # 33
I’m sorry to be rude but some bees are coming off like their husbands are just getting hit in by masses of women regardless of a wedding ring. I highly HIGHLY doubt that that’s the truth. Yeah it happens but I doubt it’s as common for people both men and women to be hit on equally as much wearing a ring as those not. When I see rings I assume that person is married or wants to show that they’re taken. The exception is young teens who I do see wear lots of different finger rings. It was important to myself and Darling Husband alike that we both wear our rings. My husband never wore jewelry before and has 0 issue with it. I get some people don’t like jewelry but there’s even silicone alternatives that are light and easy (not metal). I think it’s a “to each their own” situation but it’s definitely important to both of us.
Post # 34
I grew up with a dad who never wore a wedding ring, he still doesn’t. He’s a mechanic and it just isn’t safe and in the time he’s home he doesn’t bother putting one on. That’s just normal for me.
My Darling Husband does wear a ring, because he personally feels it’s disprespectful to our marriage not to wear one. That mainly stems from his life of work where constant domestic/international travel is the norm as are man-whores who cheat on their wives A LOT….and most of them take their rings off. He has a “nice” ring but wears QALO rings mostly for comfort and practicality.
Post # 35
My husband has never worn his wedding ring. Maybe once or twice in our 12 years of marriage. It has bothered me before, but I don’t really think about it now. He works with his hands a lot and has told me he doesn’t want his finger to get taken off because of a ring.
But I would be happy if he looked “taken”. He has been hit on by women right in front of me a few times, so I am sure it happens when he is alone and not wearing a ring. But all I can do is have trust in him and in our marriage.
Post # 36
My husband doesn’t like to always wear his wedding band as he likes to work with his hands and I know it would get in the way. He does wear it whenever we go out with friends and family or for special events. I’m totally fine with that. I know he’s married to me and committed to me. The only time I actually insisted he wear it was when I went into labor and had to go to the hospital to give birth – I really wanted him to wear it then! But otherwise, it’s fine if he doesn’t always wear it. Women talk to him anyways regardless of whether he is wearing it or not. But I never leave the house without my rings on as I”m obsessed with wearing them. LOL.
Post # 37
Didnt read anything other than the title, but yes!
Post # 38
How does he feel about you never wearing a ring because of discomfort? I think it’s pretty ludicrous, unless he’s so sensitive to things between his fingers, but even I’m that way and so I got a thin band and hardly ever feel it on! I’m the same way, my fiancé must wear a ring if I have to wear one. And he wears it on his right hand because he’s a cellist, so maybe he’d be more comfirtable with it not on the left hand.
Post # 39
Apparently this answer isn’t very popular, but I would! This has never come up with my husband and I, as we both just always wear our rings, but it would bother me if he didn’t. Not because I think he would cheat, but because of the symbolism behind it. My father never wore his, and I know that has bothered my mother. All of our married friends actually wear their rings. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t in our circle.
Post # 40
The way I view it, as soon as one partner or the other “has” to wear a ring, it becomes a shackle. My Darling Husband does wear his ring, but that’s his choice, and it would not upset me if he had decided not to when we were married. His father is a farmer and never wore a ring, so no ring was normal to him. Of course, I would expect the same courtesy be given to me if I chose not to wear a ring. Wearing jewelry doesn’t make a person any more or less married, and fidelity comes from within. Men are not helpless creatures who cannot resist the charms of a woman who hits on him because he’s not wearing a ring. Words as well as rings can just as easily communicate, “I’m married.”
Post # 41
dw4518 : My hubby hasn’t worn his in years! Once in awhile, he’ll put it on and I’m like, whoa surprise!! I couldn’t care less, it’s his finger, his choice! Most people know he’s married, and as far as strangers, a wedding ring isn’t going to stop women from hitting on him, if they choose!
Post # 42
I think finding rings uncomfortable is a totally legitimate reason not to wear one. I don’t like wearing jewelry and wearing a thin band around my finger really does irritate me. I wear it at work because I feel like I’m supposed to and I don’t want my co-workers to think I’m having marriage problems or something, but I take my rings off as soon as I get home, and rarely wear them when I’m running errands on weekends.
Its possible once he’s married he’ll get questions from people going “where’s your ring?” and then he may get pressured into wearing it regularly, but if not I don’t think its a big deal.
Post # 43
A wedding ring would deter decent women away from him, but likely to actually attract toxic mate-poaching females (I’ve seen this sort of behaviour before!)
Mutual respect and boundaries will keep your union safe, not a ring!
Post # 44
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Darling Husband has a ring but doesn’t often wear it and I’m completely not bothered by it. I’d never insist he wears it. My thoughts on this are probably influenced though – my dad doesn’t have a ring at all (when my parents married he was working in the high-voltage electricity field and wasn’t allowed to wear a ring at work) so it’s never seemed unusual to me.
Post # 45
dw4518 : I don’t wear a wedding ring and neither does my husband. Never been tempted to cheat and still manage to be respectful to my partner despite not wearing a magical band of metal around our fingers.
Do we get hit on, sure but it is pretty easy to handle much in the same way as those who have yet to recieve their magical bands do, you just say “no thank you”. Hell I am sure people do that when they are single as well.