Should I insist he wears a wedding ring?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
3309 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My husband doesn’t wear one and it’s never bothered me.

Post # 47
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

No. 

He is an adult and your partner, not your child to instruct. You can obviously discuss why you would like it if you both wore a ring, but insisting? Nope. 

My fiancé does plan to get/wear one, but if he decides it is uncomfortable or an annoyance I don’t think it would bug me at all for him not to wear it regularly. Heck, I take my e-ring off the second I get home every single day, so I understand how wearing a piece of jewelry can be uncomfortable or bothersome. 

Post # 48
Member
32 posts
Newbee

My husband doesn’t wear a wedding band. He hates jewlery, always has. It doesn’t bother me. My Dad never wore one either for the same reason.  I trust him, and it doesn’t bother me.  I am sure if I made a big deal of it he would wear one, but it doesn’t matter to me.  

Post # 49
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I plan to get my Fiance a ring for the ceremony and occasional wear but he won’t wear it every day.  And I’m fine with that.  We’ve been together more than 8 years and he has never worn a single piece of jewelry, not even a watch. 

Post # 51
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

dw4518 :  No, you should not insist. If he wants to wear a ring, that’s his choice.

In relationships that should be an equal partnership, one person should never be forcing their wants / wishes / will onto the other person. That’s manipulation and witchcraft.

Post # 52
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I wouldn’t insist.  My father never wore one (and in fact my mother never did either after a while just because she is not a ring person).  Commitment is a state of mind and not indicated by jewellery.  

Post # 53
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

bluecutie00 :  cant tell if your post is sarcastic… you negotiate your wants/wishes/will all the time in a relationship. 

Post # 54
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - State Park

This one the one thing that I was actually a stick in the mud about. It was important to me that we both wear wedding bands. And I let literally everything else slide. That symbol is important to me for some reason. 

My husband hates jewelry of any kind and was super uncomfortable at first. He switched his ring to his right hand because it’s more comfortable for him and that was that. He also went with a narrower band than many men so it would be more comfortable. 

I don’t have a good reason why it’s important to me. It just is.  But I can’t expect him to wear his if I don’t wear mine. 

I know tons of married people who don’t wear rings. It’s not actually a big deal. Not even a year in yet and I can see that I’ll lighten up on this issue significantly as time goes on. 

Rings are annoying. Decide how much the symbol means to you. Go with that. 

Post # 55
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s pretty hypocritical that you aren’t going to wear one for purely aesthetic reasons of not finding one you like, but then insisting he wear one when he doesn’t want to. 

Post # 56
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

MrsBuesleBee :  Very much sarcastic but kinda of serious too. Yes, you definitely negotiate in a relationship all the time. But, negotiation is not the same thing as “insisting” / forcing. There’s a distinction between the two.

Plus, plenty of married men cheat with their rings on. Wearing a ring doesn’t make a man any less or any more committed. 

OP is out of line if she is trying to force her grown adult husband to wear something he doesn’t want to.

Post # 57
Member
2674 posts
Sugar bee

My husband wears a 22k gold signet ring with the initial of his {ours!} last name. He’s had it for years. I have no problem with it.

Post # 58
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

bluecutie00 :  If it means a lot to her shes well with in her bounds to speak her truth and say “this is important to me and its upsetting you dont want to wear one” . 

Obviously a ring is not a chastity belt but it is a publicly visible, instantly recongnizable symbol of marriage that is meaningful for many people. 

Post # 59
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

It really depends on how important it is to you. It sounds like you’re on the fence, but you have to really think deeply about if you will be bothered that he doesnt wear a symbol of your marriage. I personally, would be very bothered if my husband didn’t want to wear a ring. Symbols are very important to me.

Post # 60
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

MrsBuesleBee :  She absolutely has the right to express her opinion to her partner. And even negotiate. She still doesn’t have a right to force him. There’s a distinct difference.

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