Post # 1
I had planned on inviting only family and very close friends to the wedding. I was not going to invite any of my “work friends” because while I like them all and enjoy socializing with them at work, we never hang out outside of work or anything. It just seemed easier to draw the line and say no coworkers.
There is one exception though, and that is a family friend that has known me my whole life. I considered that different because she was a family friend before she was a coworker. Today, though, she was asking me a question about the wedding when we were working with another of my work friends, a girl I really do like a lot and talk to almost every day. She was asking how many people were at the wedding and I told her, truthfully, that it was going to be mainly family with just a very few number of friends.
Now I’m wondering if I should invite the other co worker? We have never socialized out side of work, but I do work very closely with her and I don’t want her to be offend if my family friend (who she is very close to as this person is her mentor) is invited and she isn’t.
I feel like I am probably way over thinking this, but still wanted some input! Thanks!
Post # 2
I don’t think she will take it to heart. Weddings are expensive! Does this co-worker know the other co-worker is a close family friend? If you don’t hangout with her outside of work, and having just family and closest friends, I wouldn’t invite her. It’s not that you don’t like her, but if you invite her, you’ll most likely have a +1 for her, and if other coworkers hear shes invited, they might feel left out. But this is just my opinion. Hope this helps and good luck with your decision!
Post # 3
That’s what I was thinking- if I start inviting other coworkers, then I start thinking, “Oh, but if I invite Susie I have to invite Sally. And if Sally and Susie come, Jane will wonder why I didn’t invite her.” It makes it hard to know where to stop.
And thank you! Your advise does help 🙂
Post # 4
There is no need to invite that other co-worker.
And you should have a word in private to the family friend. Explain that you are not inviting anyone else from work, and ask her not to talk about wedding details in front of other workers. She put you in a really awkward position, and needs to know not to do it again.
Post # 5
As the first person is a family friend, I would not think that anyone else would be offended at not being invited. You had a relationship with them prior to becoming coworkers and have a relationship with them outside of work.
Post # 6
I think it’s fine not to invite the other co-worker. You have a history with your family friend who now happens to be a co-worker, so it’s totally different. I don’t think your other co-worker would be offended, espeically if she knew that you were family friends that go way back. Maybe just don’t discuss it at the office anymore and tell your friend you’d like to keep it private. I agree with what the other bees said.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t invite the coworker, but I would ask the family friend not to bring your wedding up at work in order to avoid potentially awkward situations like this.
Post # 8
my rule of thumb was to only invite coworkers that I socialized with outside of work. I also asked them not to mention it at work so people who weren’t invited wouldn’t get offended. I don’t think you should invite someone out of guilt.
Post # 9
I’m trying to figure this out too. I have two close friends at work who will be invited, as I do socialize with them outside of work from time to time. I have a handful of other colleagues who I am very friendly with at work but inviting them would wreck havoc on my guest list so I’m not planning on doing it for now. But it’s still in the back of my head.
My other question is my administrative assistant, who has been with me for years. She is very cash poor and I don’t want her to feel obligated to come or to get me a gift (both of which she will because im her boss). But I don’t want her to feel slighted either. I don’t socialize with her outside of with though so maybe she shouldn’t be on the list? I’m confused.
In the meantime, there is no not discussing the wedding at work. I’m asked about it constantly.