(Closed) Should I invite all my guests to the Ceremony as well?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If there are people you don’t want at the ceremony, why are you even bothering to invite them to the reception? You said, “only important people get invited to the ceremony”. If that is how you feel about the other guests, why bother?

Post # 4
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

huh?

Why are you inviting exes and acquantances anywhere if you don’t actually want them to come? Not to mention that usually you pay more money to have them at the reception than at the ceremony.

If I found out I wasn’t part of the “important people” that got to witness the ceremony, but was good enough to come to the party and bring a gift, I would be very hurt.

Post # 6
Member
13249 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Only important people get to witness us saying our vows

Why would you spend the money on someone at a reception that you have deemed “unimportant” and not worth being at your ceremony?  If I found out I was in the group that only got a reception invitiation, I’d be angry, and feel like you were only looking for a gift.  It’s one thing if your ceremony is immediate family only (no exceptions) or in a religious setting that doesn’t allow non-believers in the church/temple, I think it’s rude to decide who is important enough to witness the marriage ceremony, and who is unimportant enough to only be able to congratulate you after.

Post # 7
Member
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

Yeah, no. Some circles this is acceptable but a huge majority of people would just find it rude. 

Post # 8
Member
2716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you have a truely intimate ceremony (meaning only close family only, no friends, no more than 20 people) then it’s ok.  Otherwise it would be very rude to invite only some people the ceremony and others to just the reception.  It would be a tiered wedding and basically points out that some guests are better/more important than others.

Post # 9
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@lstyle25:  There is no rule that says if you were invited to someone’s wedding that you have to invite them to yours. That is very nice of you to do so, but it’s your day, you should only have the people there that you want. I don’t think it matters that his ex is friends with your FI’s group of friends. I think it is perfectly reasonable to not invite an ex and honestly, she probably wouldn’t want to come anyway, so why put her in the position where she either feels like she has to come or feels weird declining. You don’t want to be thinking about her on your day!

Post # 10
Member
504 posts
Busy bee

The only ways I can see this being acceptable is if you eloped or had a courthouse ceremony and a large reception after. Otheriwse, it’s pretty rude.

Post # 12
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

@lstyle25:  He fought with you that his ex needed to be there?

Honestly, it sounds like you need to review your guest list. You don’t need to invite people just because you went to their wedding. You also dont need to invite people who you used to be friends with but arent close with anymore. A lot could change in a year so I wouldn’t make any firm decision.

Post # 13
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes you should invite all guests to both the ceremony and reception. If they’re not important enough to come to the ceremony, then they’re not important enough to be at the reception either.

Post # 16
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee

I feel like if they are invited to the reception, they should be at the ceremony IMO

The topic ‘Should I invite all my guests to the Ceremony as well?’ is closed to new replies.

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