(Closed) Should I invite bridesmaids wedding dress shopping?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn

i would just take your mum, MOH and Gran for the dress shopping and then arrange a ‘dress reveal’ for your bridesmaids at a later date that they can all make.

Post # 3
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Dreams Las Mareas - Costa Rica

if you have your mom… thats enough.

unless you really want all those opinions

Post # 4
1215 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

It depends on how many opinions you want. I seceretly went with just my mom and my dress was the third one I tried on. It would have been nice to have my sisters, but I did not want all the opinions. I was worried I would just get confused. Part of that is my ADD. Sure, my sisters wish they could have been there, but they also love my dress and got over it. It’s your experience, so have who you want. I like the dress reveal idea at a later date too. You could just tell the one bridesmaid that the salon only lets a certain number of people in per bride, and that’s the three you invited. Yeah, it’s lying, and it would only work if she doesn’t know the salon you are going to.

Post # 5
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

mcmals:  I just went with my mom and it was a lovely afternoon. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding last summer and she brought both moms and the 4 bridesmaids with her. It was great but she ended up picking one when it was just her and the 2 moms. I think less voices is better.

Post # 6
4889 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

You can, but it’s really personal preference. I was a BM in a friends wedding years ago, and I don’t think any of us went shopping with the bride.

When I went looking, my sister (MOH) came with to one shop, only because it was down where she lives. I did have my MIL and SIL come with to a couple shops, because one was where MIL lived, and then I thought it woudl be nice for them to come with when I actually picked out my dress when I had seen what I needed to see.

Otherwise, it was just my mom and I – and that was just fine for me.

Post # 7
2351 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

mcmals:  Unless you want to be smothered in opinions, I wouldn’t.  Maybe just your MOH depending on the relationship.  That’s a lot of energy – and estrogen!! 

Post # 8
4063 posts
Honey bee

It’s not like every salon is as large as the ones you see on the TV shows. (Where we frequently see brides leaving without choosing a gown, because of too many dissenting opinions).

My daughters had me, my mother, and each other (they were each other’s honor attendants), when we shopped. Most shops are pretty small, and some have limits to the size of your party, too. I agree with the PP about having a reveal later. My one daughter did that, when her girls went to the same salon to get fitted for their birdesmaid gowns.

Post # 9
9154 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

There is no etiquette on this, though IMO  it’s nice under many circumstances to ask your mother. But really, it’s whomever you  want to be there. The entourage thing is something that was foisted on us by reality TV. 

Post # 10
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I brought my bridesmaids (I have 4) and my mom. It was perfect. I got all the opinions I wanted, and it was fun!

Post # 11
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Some girls like going on their own and some like having their friends – both are totally ok and understandable.

I did most of my dress shopping myself and asked for people’s opinions via text.  My mom went with me one day, we saw my ceremony dress and bought it on the spot without asking anyone else.

I had one aunt that really wanted to be involved but lives 6 hours away and I travel a lot on business (not to wear she lives).  I think she may have been hurt at first that I went without her, but I asked her if she would mind helping me complete the look (shoes, sash, etc. that we now have 7 months to coordinate and take care of) – she seems to be totally ok with this instead and is really getting into it since it’s a lot more “work” but a lot more fun as well and we can really feel it all coming together.  Perhaps you can loop your friend in doing something like that?

Post # 12
5218 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

mcmals:  If you feel like you’re going to be a bride who doesn’t make a decision right away (and you want to try on a bunch in multiple stores), I would invite your bridesmaids along as well to avoid hurt feelings and to have a fun day. If you are set and focused on finding a dress the first time, I would not invite the bridesmaids as too many opinions can get very confusing. 

I had 5 people with me (my stepmom, MIL, sister (MOH) and 2 bridesmaids) and the opinions were a bit overwhelming. My bridal salon limited us to 5, so perhaps you could use that as an excuse? I would then invite your bridesmaids along to see the dress when it comes in and you try it on. 

Post # 13
2507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think that having a big entourage just makes it harder, unless you are the type of person that needs tons of opinions.  I just brought my mom, aunt, and sister (who was my MOH).  However, after I selected the dress, I brought all my bridesmaids to the same salon to shop for bridesmaids dresses and I tried on the sample of the dress I purchased to show them.  It was a really fun and special moment.    

Post # 14
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I personally think that your mom, grandma and MOH should be fine! I went with my mom, two grandmas and my sister (MOH). It was nice to share the experience with my family. I intend on inviting the bridesmaids to fittings etc. once the dress is finalized.

Post # 15
4512 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is such a personal choice. Do you want 9 people giving you their opinions? I didn’t. I just took my mom, and that was plenty for me. Also as a bridesmaid, I’m not sure I’d want to be there (is that mean?).

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