(Closed) Should I invite coworkers to my bridal shower?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1112 posts
Bumble bee

sweet14:  Totally up to you if you want to invite them. It depends on the type of shower you want. Some people only invite their inner circle and some invite every woman who is attending the wedding. As long as they are being invited to the wedding, they can be invited to the shower. 

Keep in mind most workplaces host a shower for their co-worker before the wedding as well. 

Post # 3
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

You don’t have to invite every woman you invite to your wedding to your bridal shower. I would go by how close you are to them — if you’re not super close and you invited them to your wedding out of courtesy, don’t invite them to your shower. It might come off as gift grabby to those you are not close with. I do agree that unless you have a clearly defined work BFF or two, you should invite all or none.

Post # 4
Member
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

sweet14:  no, you don’t have to invite every single woman that is invited to the wedding to the shower. For my bridal shower I only invited the women that were closest to me, mothers, cousins and aunts and a handful of friends. We had a lot of extended family and co-workers that we invited to the wedding but not the shower. it would have been way too many people for a shower

Post # 5
Member
9720 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

You don’t need to invite every female invited to the wedding to your shower. It really depends on your relationship with them. There’s no right or wrong answer to this question. But I don’t think you should invite people “out of courtesy” to a shower. If you really want them there, invite them. If you don’t really care, then don’t.

Post # 6
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

 

Personally, I see showers as more intimate, mostly just family with a few close friends. Just my opinion.

If you all work together, I would think it would be an all or none are invited to avoid awkwardness.

Post # 7
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

soontobemrsKB92615:  I’m in CA, US, and have never heard of a workplace hosting a wedding/bridal shower for an engaged coworker. Is this really common practice in Canada?

Post # 8
Member
3396 posts
Sugar bee

rfs23:  Every place I’ve worked in LA has hosted bridal and baby showers – they just don’t invite people who don’t work there. One firm even had a $500 budget for gifts!

Post # 9
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

SLOBee:  Maybe this is a bigger-city trend, or a more recent one!

Post # 10
Member
8863 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

rfs23:  I’m in the midwest US and every place I’ve worked for does it. These were all medium sized suburbs and over the past 20 years. So not big city or recent in my experience.

OP, I would not invite co-workers to the shower. Showers are specifically to give you presents (in addition to the wedding gifts you’ll probably receive). Are your co-workers really going to be that excited about spending another afternoon celebrating you, and bringing another present?

Post # 11
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Daisy_Mae:  Okay, well, I’ve lived and worked in northern California in a well-known, mid-sized city for 20+ years, and have never heard of an employer throwing showers for engaged employees. Including myself when I worked for a large telecom company 13 years ago and got married.

I would venture to guess that this is not standard practice EVERYWHERE in the world.

Post # 12
Member
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

rfs23:  I’ve never worked at a worksite that didn’t host a shower for the bride to be. The difference between what we do and what you posted is that the employer has absolutely nothing to do with the shower, other than allowing the shower to be held in a conference room. In some places a social committee organized the shower, in others it was organized by a few co-workers close the bride. Sometimes we collected for one or more larger gifts. Other times we gave individual gifts.

Post # 13
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

julies1949:  I was originally replying to a comment that said, “Keep in mind most workplaces host a shower for their co-worker before the wedding as well.”

You also used the term “host.” It is my understanding that that word means the person/organization who pays for the party, and that’s what I was responding to. So it seems what you all are referring to is working at places in which the fellow employees organize a shower to be held in a room at the workplace? Does this only happen when the majority of the employees are female? Is it done for anyone preparing to wed, or only women? I seriously have never heard of this.

 

Post # 14
Member
8863 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

rfs23:  

  • So it seems what you all are referring to is working at places in which the fellow employees organize a shower to be held in a room at the workplace? — Yep.
  • Does this only happen when the majority of the employees are female? — Nope.
  • Is it done for anyone preparing to wed, or only women? — For weddings, anyone. For babies, I’ve only ever been to work-showers where the co-worker was the mom. I have heard of work-showers where the co-worker was the dad, but never been to one.
  • I seriously have never heard of this. — Huh. Every company I’ve worked at has them, from small businesses to huge multi-nationals. Usually an admin plans it, or the guest of honor’s boss or just some colleagues. Everyone gathers in a conference room for cake and punch and a present-opening.
Post # 15
Member
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

rfs23:  The workplace is not the employer. It is the site where you work.

The host(s) was the person or persons receiving the guests. Just like wedding receptions, the host is not necessarily the one paying for the event.

We held showers for any colleague getting married- male or female. The nature of the shower varied with the individual’s situation. Some were moving directly from their parents’ homes, others had already lived together and therefore didn’t need the usual shower items.

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