(Closed) Should I invite ex-best friend to the wedding? Or all is already lost?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

He’s definitely not going to show up if you invite him without his wife. It sounds like you’d just be stirring the pot further, and would probably irreparably damage any hope you could have ever had at rekindling that friendship.

 

Post # 4
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I wouldn’t invite him and not his wife this may cause more damage to your friendship (if there is anything left, as you stated).  If you want him there, invite him and his wife.  Bury the hatchet with his wife in hopes to keep your friendship.  Good luck.

Post # 5
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

You can’t invited him without his wife. That would only make your relationship, or lack thereof, even worse. If you’re interested in being in contact again somehow, I think you should wait till after the wedding. Weddings are highly emotional and important, and you don’t want to add any potential drama that doesn’t need adding. Shoot him a message a few weeks after the wedding and try to patch things up/catch up.

Post # 6
Member
585 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think you should invite him. Obviously, there are issues there. If you really want him to come, you guys need to sit down as adults and work things out–ALL of you. You’re only going to cause problems if you don’t invite his wife. And I can’t imagine how incredibly awkward it would be anyway to have him come when you guys haven’t gone through the process of talking things over and getting comfortable again. That would be just way too much weirdness on your big day, I think.

 

Post # 7
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t do it.  It would just cause problems and he wouldn’t come without his wife anyway.

Post # 8
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I vote not to invite him at all since the two of you are close today and there are obviously other issues going on.

Post # 9
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

You CAN invite whoever you want, but I personally wouldn’t bother inviting him after so long without communication. 

Post # 10
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you’re not going to invite her, don’t invite him either.  If this invitation is meant to be any kind of a peace offering, it won’t be seen as such when her name is obviously absent from the invitation.  I would just let the sleeping dogs lie.

Post # 12
Member
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont think its right to invite him and not his wife.  And honestly, I’m not too shocked that he didnt defend you to her regarding the blog entry.  Sorry, but at that point you are just a friend, that is his wife and where his loyalties lie.  I wouldn’t bother after so long.

Post # 13
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you aren’t inviting his wife, then don’t bother inviting him. The fact that you have a problem with her is basically the root of why you aren’t friends anymore, and not inviting her does nothing to show you’ve moved past that.

I can gaurantee he won’t accept if you invite him, sans her.

If you can be the bigger person and invite them both, then that might go a long way to repairing that relatonship.

Post # 14
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

double post

Post # 15
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

well you definitely can’t invite him without his wife – that is a huge etiquette no-no.  I’m sure if he was invited without her he wouldn’t attend, so either invite both or don’t bother.

Post # 16
Member
41 posts
Newbee

I’m not sure I understand why you wouldn’t want to reach out to him for two years, but do now just in time for your wedding. Essentially whatever friendship you had, IMO his relationship with his wife comes first now (and should). If I were her I would take this “attempt at fixing things” as just a public opportunity to get one last jab at her. Not saying your consciously thinking of it this way, I’m sure you do miss him. But do you miss him more than you hate her? Or are you subconsciously seeing this as one last way to make your feelings about her known? I say let it go. Not every friendship is meant to last forever, but a marriage should. Theirs and yours. I think you need to reevaluate your priorities here and realize what kind of drama this could bring to your day.

The topic ‘Should I invite ex-best friend to the wedding? Or all is already lost?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors