Post # 1
Ok bees, lend me your wisdom!
One of my sisters has a life-long best friend who I will call X. Despite the fact that I have known X for most my life, and she was our college roommate (at my sister’s invitation, not mine), I used to despise X. Up until when she moved out, she was a b*tch to me. Fast forward ten years to this past June, we both served as Bridesmaid or Best Man in another of my sister’s weddings (she has stayed pretty close with them). Despite spotting each other at mutual friends’ weddings, her and I never spoke to each other up until this point. Suprisingly, she apologized to me about the way she treated me when we were younger. We agreed to bury the hatchet. After the wedding, though she befriended me on Facebook, we have not maintained any contact
Yesterday as SO and I was updating the guest list, he asked if I was inviting X. I said no, but he said some things that kind of threw me for a loop: 1) X and I have a lot of mutual friends. People will expect her to be there. If she is not invited people will assume it’s because I still hate her; 2) my sister expects me to invite her bc my sister is not bringing a date to the wedding and will probably want X as company; 3) if I do not invite X, I’m scared my sister will invite her anyways as her +1 which then will really make it awkward if she comes.; 4) inviting X will be easier if it means avoiding the potential drama with my sister and our friends.
The problem is, I don’t really want her there. Even though we buried the hatchet, she is a pretty negative person. SO thinks we should invite her to avoid drama and her attending won’t affect our bugdet. Plus he thinks I’ll be so busy, I won’t even notice she’s there.
What do you guys think? Should I invite her?
Post # 3
I’m going to say invite her if you have the room. There will be so many other things going on and so many other people there, you really can just ignore her.
Post # 4
I would say you should run this by your sister and see what she thinks. Honestly if your sister supports the decision to not invite her, and since X is a person you really don’t like, there’s no reason to extend the invite to her. You’re barely even friends at this point. It’s your wedding day and you shouldn’t have to invite people you dislike.
I’m sort of in a similar situation where I’m inviting my entire circle of friends except for one girl because she and I do not get along. I think it bothers some of them that she won’t be there, but they also know that I really don’t like her so no one has really said anything about it to me.
Post # 5
I think a wedding is a personal, intimate occasion and just because you and this girl buried the hatchet, doesn’t mean you have to include her. If you don’t have a personal relationship with someone, I don’t think they need an invitation to your day. It’s your sister’s friend, not yours. Your friends have plenty of other opportunites to see her.
Post # 6
I personally am a firm believer in inviting only people who you want there. If the person is going ot detract from your day, then don’t invite her. If the drama is going to detract from the day, maybe you should. Although, as FutureMrsCookie says, you should ask your sister what she thinks. Be honest about how you aren’t friends with her and dont’ feel comfortable with her there, but are willing to consider her side of the argument to inviting her.
Post # 7
NOrmally I would say not to invite her, but since she is so close with your sisters, I think I would just to not cause drama. I know you don’t want her there, but at least you won’t have to deal with negative comments from your sisters, and hopefully she won’t even get a chance to talk to you on your wedding day, so you won’t have to deal with her negativity either
Post # 8
Thanks everyone! I really appreciate it.
I will definitely take you ladies’ advice to talk my sister first to gauge how she feels and to see the amount of drama this may create before I make my decision.
With everything I have left to do for this wedding, I don’t know why I’m obsessing over this one situation. =/
I wish I could elope.