Post # 1
My brother recently filed for divorce from his cheating wife. In my state though, they have to wait 3 months to finalize in an effort to try to patch things up. Unfortunately my brother now thinks that her mooching and cheating is worth looking past. If it was just the cheating that I had a problem with I would tell myself to suck it up and invite her if my brother is able to forgive her. But she has used social media to mock me, calling me “a golden child” and cutting me off in conversation any chance she has. She is oddly jealous and wants to boot me out of my own intermediate family. There are underlying issues that my family and I have overlooked for the sake of my brother, but considering their divorce is pending and my whole family knows about her infidelity, do I still have to invite her if my brother decides to forgive her and not proceed with the divorce?
Post # 2
if your brother thinks the issues are worth looking past then they surely they aren’t separated?
Post # 3
If he decides to stay married, I think you have to invite her…. If not, don’t worry about it.
Post # 4
If they are not separated, then I think she should be invited. If they were going through with a divorce or trial separation, then no.
Post # 5
If it were me, I would not invite her. Apart from her being a total asshole to my brother, she attempted to be a total asshole to me and I must invite for the sake of my brother? I.dont.think.so. Plus, I wouldnt want that type of energy in my wedding anyway. Then again, I do not agree with the general consensus that anyone can come to my wedding as long as they are part of a couple. I think there are extenuating circumstances that may not make this possible. Plus, it’s MY wedding.
Post # 6
You must defer to your brother in this case. If he says yes, then sorry, she needs to be invited. You don’t get to chose their relationship.
Post # 7
In regards to your brothers feelings about forgiving her or not it is ultamitely his decision and I think its a separate issue. I know its frustrating cause we would like our loved ones to do whats best for themselves. If you feel like she will undermine you and put a damper on your special day then maybe you’re better off not inviting her? Does your brother know that she behaves this way with you and if so would he be understanding if you chose not to invite her for those reasons?
Best of luck!
Post # 8
If they choose to stay together, then etiquette unfortunately says you have to invite her, regardless of your personal feelings on the matter (but, keep in mind, that doesn’t necessarily mean she’ll come). If they are separated, defer to your brother. If they are divorced, obviously no, she shouldn’t be invited.
Post # 9
This is such a hard place to be in. Me personally I would not invite her…Sit down and tell your brother that you really want him to be at your wedding but with everything that has transpired you don’t want her to be there and you hope that it doesn’t affect him attending.
that is what we are doing with my Mother-In-Law and her new BF just to keep the peace between all family members … I could be wrong BUT this is YOUR day and if you don’t want certain people their because of their attitude and negativity they shouldn’t automatically get a pass to be there.
Post # 10
Absolutely invite her and make sure she sees just how much of a golden child you are. She is on thin ice with your brother and she will behave and secretly SEEEETHE with envy.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t invite her.
This isn’t about being married/not-married to your brother – if she has mocked and insulted you that would be grounds (in my opinion) to not extend the invitation. I don’t really care what ettiquette calls for, if someone is horrible to me I’m not having them at my wedding!
Post # 14
Send the invitation to your brother and give him a +1. Explain verbally that it’s up to him whether he brings her.
“Mocking on social media” is very hard to gauge from what you said, but it doesn’t sound serious enough to uninvite her if she and your brother stay together.
Post # 15
This is the second time today that your response has me cracking up.
OP, if you have it in you to invite her and ignore her, that’s probably the “bigger” thing to do.
I’m not a conflict avoidant person so in your place I’d probably not invite her (not only for how she treated my brother but also for how she treated me) and then if she had a problem with it, she could call me for a thorough explanation.