- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I can’t work out whether I should invite a co-worker of mine.
I work in an office of about 30 people. I supervise 7 of them and am wondering how many of those 7 I should invite. I would happily invite all of them, if there wasn’t this one person…
Let’s call her Violet (not her real name).
Many of the people at work can’t stand her as she is quite forthright and (inadvertantly I think, but it’s hard to tell) hurt a lot of people’s feelings by things she says about them. She has made snide comments about my weight before and I can’t help but think that she’ll be making snarky comments all the way through the wedding if she comes, particularly as she is quite traditional and religious and our wedding will be neither of those things. Some of the people who are invited have outright said that they don’t want her there.
My problem is how do I deal with her if I don’t invite her? She has already complained to one of the people who has been invited that the other girl was invited because she is one of my favourites and Violet isn’t. She has complained about me to my manager and accused me of favouring other co-workers ahead of her in relation to work stuff. To be completely honest, there is probably some truth in this – I do have my favourite staff members and she is not one of them, but that’s because she is forever arguing with me, isn’t the hardest worker and doesn’t like following orders, while other team members just happily do what I ask them to do.
I have to admit that I don’t want to invite her, but then I have to consider what will happen if I don’t. I still have to work with her in the future – right now we are in state of polite tolerance I guess you could call it. But she keeps asking me about the wedding and I think she may be dropping hints that she wants to come.
The other thing is, when we were first doing our guest list I could only invite a few people from work so I could easily mount the argument that I only have space for a few people. But now we have room to invite a few more and I could well be inviting about half of the whole office altogeher. The more people I invite while excluding her, the worse I think she’s going to get if I don’t invite her.
The one saving grace I have is that, according to people who know her better than I do, she wouldn’t come anyway if invited, since she has a baby, her husband is away at the moment, and she is on a restricted diet which means she probably wouldn’t be able to eat the food at the wedding anyway. So I could invite her just for appearances sake, knowing she won’t come. Then again this could just completely backfire if she says yes after all.
What do you think I should do?