- 12 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
I will try not to make this a novel, but I’m in need of some objective advice.
My dad is a bitter man, my parents divorced when I was about 7. Dad was abusive towards my mom. My mom remarried a wonderful guy–my stepdad. It has been about 15 years and my dad HATES my step dad. My stepdad had a brain tumor when i was younger. My dad would make comments like “that brain tumor should have killed him”, in front of my face–to me! When you are about 12 years old what are you supposed to do when you hear that kind of negativity. My dad does not get along with my mom, any phone call ends up in a screaming match. My mom is nice to my dad, she is not the bitter one; he is.
My dad has also been difficult to get along with growing up; he drinks, and is a hard headed person. We have gotten in many fights through the years and at this point we are on good terms only because I accepted his apologies and didn’t want to deal with him anymore—not because I really care anymore.
My dream would be to have a SMALL, intimate wedding. I’m thinking, a pretty ceremony and then taken my immediate family out to a wonderful dinner. I live in AZ, my dad lives in MI. If my dad comes to my small wedding I will not be comfortable. I am so uncomfortable with the thought of my dad, mom, and step dad sitting at one table eating dinner together. My dad is unpredictable, and quite frankly I don’t think I’d miss him if he wasn’t there.
The problem? My mother. She says I have to invite my dad, that he’s my father and there is no way I can not invite him. He abused her, wasn’t a great dad–and she’s being the nice one and taking his feelings into consideration!
What should I do? I really can’t tell my dad I don’t want to invite him…can I tell a little white lie and just say we’re getting married on our honeymoon? He’s the only one from his side of the family (besides my brother) who would be invited and it would just be so uncomfortable. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I don’t know what to do.
Help, bees. 🙁