Post # 1
Ok bees, I need your advice. To make a long story short, my Dad’s father has not been a part of his life. I have literally met him 4 times my entire life. My Dad doesn’t care if I do not invite him, but his sister is making a big deal about inviting him. She’s been trying for the last 10 years to make him a part of our lives. The thing is, I don’t want him there. I especially don’t want him there if there is we need to honor him in any way. My grandma and my fiance’s grandma will be there, and we plan to honor them with coursages and special dances. But I don’t think he should get any of that.
Should I invite him?
Post # 3
Unless this aunt is paying for a large percentage of your wedding, she should not get a say. Tell her to take him out for a nice dinner if she wants to see him so badly, but it is your wedding and he has not been there for you. Too bad for the grandfather and the aunt.
Post # 4
You are the one getting married (and hopefully paying) so your decision is the final answer. The aunt has no business forcing or pressuring you to invite anyone as it is not her decision to make. If she wants him to invite him to a family function any other time on her dime, she is more than welcome to but she has no place at all deciding that your wedding will be that function. Bottom line, if YOU don’t want someone in attendance, don’t invite them.
Post # 5
I think it depends on why your father and he are estranged from each other. Right now your father just wants to make you happy, but there may be something that happened that can’t be forgiven. If that is the case, I would not invite him.
Post # 6
I think it’s yours and your dad’s call, not your aunt’s. So I voted no.
Post # 7
your call. do whatever makes you feel better. you don’t want to be regretting his presence during your wedding when you should be focused on being happy & having fun!
Post # 8
I was in the same boat w/ my estranged Grandfather. He has been super shitty to my father in the past and has never been “there” for me or my brother – but makes time for his other 6 grandkids who live in the same area and even out-of-state. I used to care but now I don’t let it bother me because I ahve so many other wonderful people in my life that its not worth the stress.
This may help you – I posted something very similiar and got some good advice.
In case you are wondering, I did not invite him. I had to be “selfish” and remember that this is MY (and FI’s) day and I didn’t want any drama. My father is a litte upset but understands my reasoning. Plus, my whole family would be walking on eggshells because everyone knows the situation and its a little touchy. My father’s best friend and his brother and wife will be there to support his side of the family and its more than he can ask for.
Post # 9
If you were indifferent to his attendance, then absolutely, but that does not appear to be the case. It is you and your fiance’s wedding -don’t invite gramps if you don’t want him there. I made that mistake with some of my guests.
Post # 10
@mountain.bride: i agree 100%, for that day you need to support your dad.