(Closed) Should I invite my ex's (and my) best friend?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@hisluckygirl22:  i would talk to cory and let him know that it would mean a lot to you if he could come to your wedding.  he also needs to know and respect the fact that you or your fi do not want your ex there.  he can decide from there.

i actually did remain friends with my ex’s bf and bf’s wife and they did come to my wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If you haven’t spoken to your ex in three years, there’s no reason to invite him. But since you still consider Cory your friend, and you want him at your wedding, by all means invite him. I think three years is a very long time for someone to still feel weirded out by a friend’s breakup, so I doubt he’ll have the negative reaction you’re expecting.

Post # 5
Member
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Isn’t Cory capable of socialising without his best bud in tow? Invite Cory. If he declines, that’s his choice.

DH’s ex and I share a lot of the same friends, and some of those were at our wedding, including one who was the Maid/Matron of Honor at ex’s wedding.

Post # 6
Member
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think you should invite Cory. However, I wouldn’t mention the ex unless he brings it up. And hopefully he’s rational enough to understand that having your ex at the wedding would be an awkward situation for all involved.

Post # 7
Member
487 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should invite Cory. He may not even bring up your ex. If he does, just simply say that you and your Fiance have this “no ex” rule for your wedding and that you’re sticking to it. No need to argue. If he tries to turn it into an argument, just don’t get into it. Stay firm. Chances are though it won’t come to that and he’ll either decline or just come without mentioning your ex.

Post # 8
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Invite Cory. He will either come or he won’t. Don’t let the rest bother you. There is no reason to invite the ex.

Post # 9
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Cory doesn’t get to decide who you do or don’t include on your guest list. He *does* get to decide whether or not he wants to attend your wedding. You should invite him (Cory) because he’s your good friend, this is an important event in your life, and you would like him to come. He should accept or decline the invitation graciously according to whether or not he can make it, because he’s your good friend, this is an important event in your life, and you would like him to come.

If he gives you any static at all about not inviting the ex, all you need to say is that you weren’t able to invite everyone you know, and that you hope he will still be able to attend.

Post # 10
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You don’t speak to your ex and you are friends with Cory.  You should invite Cory without inviting your ex.  It is Cory’s choice whether he comes or not.  But if you and your Fiance have a no-ex rule then you must stick to it. 

If you invite Cory and he doesn’t come because you aren’t inviting your ex then just let it be.

Post # 11
Member
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m with PPs. Invite Cory and be firm about nor inviting your ex. He comes or he doesn’t. But he gets no say whatsoever in whether or not you invite your ex. And I can’t image he would seriously think you would invite your ex if you haven’t spoken in 3 years!

Post # 12
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Don’t invite your ex, and if Cory is one of your closest friends, he should realise how weird it would be to invite your ex, whom you haven’t spoken to in three years.

Post # 13
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Why would Cory bring your ex? It’s not his wedding or his choice. If he decides to not come because your ex isn’t, he needs to grow up and isn’t a true friend.

Post # 14
Member
9677 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would invite Cory and not even mention your ex.  He wouldn’t bring your ex as a date or anything, right!? I don’t see why it would matter if Cory wants you to invite your ex, it’s your wedding–not his.  I’d just tell him you have a no-ex policy if he asks.

Post # 16
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Invite the firend but not the ex, don’t give friend plus one. Make it his decision. Easy peasy.

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