(Closed) Should I Invite My Friend’s Boyfriend?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2007

I would say yes, definitely.  He’s important to her and she’s important to you, so everyone’s happy.  Smile

Post # 4
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hmm… how soon do you have to make a decision?

Post # 5
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I would tell her no im sorry we are limiting 1+’s to living together, engaged, married.

Post # 6
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Since she is in the wedding as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I would say yes you should. If she wasn’t in the wedding, I would have said no you dont have to. However, in this case there is no have-to, just should.

Post # 7
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee

I was in a kind of similar situation though my guest list was 120.  But a lot of that were our family friends so we were really limited on how many of our own friends we could invite.  But she was a bridesmaid and she was all about him at the time so I knew the only thing that would happen if I didnt’ invite him was major drama. 

They’re now broken up and he was a bit of a problem the weekend of the wedding, made her leave the rehearsal to go to a bar (who knows why, we had free alcohol), brought in airplane bottles to the wedding and would take shots with the college kids who then got wasted (he’s in his late 30’s and again we had free alcohol, he just thought it was funny to get the college kids wasted), and got in a couple fights with my bridesmaid. 

Even with all that, I still think it was less drama to invite him then it would have been to not invite him.

Post # 8
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Since she’s a bm and your wedding is 7 months away, I’d just give her a +1. Maybe she’ll be on to the next bf by then! If she’s still with this guy, they will have been together ~9 months – fairly serious.

Post # 9
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think the bridal party should get +1s, hopefully they’ve broken up by the time your wedding rolls around.

Post # 10
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

you have awhile until you have to send out invites. i would tell her for now that you’re limiting it to engaged/married/living together, then see what happens when you’re closer to the wedding. if they’ve been together 9 months and she’s a bm, you should invite him.

Post # 11
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree that bridal party should get a +1 since they’re most definitely going to come to the wedding (unlike a guest who you could invite solo and they could decline if they didn’t want to attend without a guest).

If they’ve broken up by then then hopefully she’ll find someone less obnoxious.

Post # 12
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

Yes, you should invite him. As a bridesmaid, you are dropping $$$ on the dress, gift, sometime travel to the wedding, bach parties and showers. She should be allowed to bring a date. ESPECIALLY if the other BM’s are bringing dates.

Otherwise, she’ll just start to resent you for it, and trust me, friendships have been lost over this issue.

And, you might luck out and she’ll have dumped the loser by your wedding day, but at least give her the option of having someone to dance with that night.

Post # 13
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d give your Bridesmaid or Best Man a +1 since she is in the wedding party (I think all wedding party members should be able to bring a date).  But don’t explicitly invite this boyfriend by name.  If she chooses to use her +1 for him, that’s her choice – but maybe she’ll be on to a different better boyfriend by then!

Post # 15
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldnt invite him as long as your Bridesmaid or Best Man has other people she knows at the wedding. The only SO’s im inviting is my Brothers live-in Girlfriend (who he’s dated for 4 years), fiances, and married couples. Boyfriends are a no go

Post # 16
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

no, i wouldnt

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