(Closed) Should I invite my grandparents?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I invite my grandparents
    Yes-they are family : (8 votes)
    18 %
    No-they shouldn't expect one because they have never really been present : (36 votes)
    82 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3063 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    “I really don’t want them at my wedding.” Don’t invite anyone you don’t want there. You’re not obligated to invite people just because you’re related. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    In your situation I wouldn’t invite them! Not only are they not a part of your life, but on the rare occasions they have been, they have been mean and snobby. I certainly wouldn’t want to be putting on forced smiles on my wedding day, or worse- being angry or upset as they are being their usual selves and being mean to you, your mother or aunt or about your wedding in general. I vote no! It’s your big day, don’t let non-existent relatives ruin it, or even risk ruining it. Besides- they just don’t deserve it!

    Post # 7
    Member
    724 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I wouldn’t invite anyone that you don’t actually want to be there. I’m not inviting my aunt (by marriage) because she is a total crazy bitch who hates my parents. So she’s not coming. I don’t need drama on the best day of my life.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think you answered your own question when you said you don’t want them there.  Don’t feel obligated to invite anyone.  I would maybe just send them an announcement after the wedding, to prevent any pre-wedding drama.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4324 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 1992

    @Corilee13: I have a similar scenario, except after remarrying and building a “new family”, my mother kind of did the same thing with my sister and me. She doesn’t call, doesn’t email, doesn’t really want to know anything about our lives. It’s fine if WE go to HER, but she can’t be bothered with us.

    The only difference is the shoe is on the other foot with the class issue. She and my stepfather live in a trailor, and dropped out of high school, whereas I am college educated, and Fiance and I just purchased our first home. Even before I met my Fiance, my mother has always referred to me as a “snob”. That has always hurt my feelings. I’ve been ambivalent on what to do to include her in the wedding festivities– from asking her to go dress shopping with me, to asking about decorations. But, it was to no avail. People will always default back to their behavior of preference, no matter what you do to build bridges.

    I say if they did the alienating, there’s no need to hurt your own feelings or your mother’s and aunt’s by having your g-parents sent an invitation. Be happy with the family that  chooses to be your family.

    Post # 11
    Member
    369 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I’m not inviting either of my mom’s parents.  She has decent relationships with them, but they have never had anything to do with my life and I didn’t feel the need to deal with drama and BS just because they’re related.

    If you don’t want them there, don’t feel obligated to invite them.  I woudln’t send them an announcement either.

    Post # 12
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I agree with PP if you dont want them there dont invite them and dont complicate it with too much thinking you want the day to be happy 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I wouldn’t invite them or send an announcement after the fact. THEN they’ll just think you’re asking for a gift!

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