Post # 1
I am getting married this summer… as is my older sister.
While the venue for my reception can accomodate up to 200 people, the ceremony site can only hold 120.
My sister, on the other hand.. can accomodate a LOT more than that!
Because of this, she is able to invite my parents friends – close, long time (I’m talking since kindergarten!) friends. But I am not.
It sucks, because a lot of them know we are both getting married. My sister is getting married at the beginning of the summer and has sent out invites already. When people RSVP “yes” they then ask “When is Ally getting married?” since they expect the invite.
Save the Dates went out ages ago. I have a “back-up” list.. but feel bad for not inviting them! When I initially made the guest list, I went up to both of my parents and asked them whether or not they had any friends they wanted me to invite. Both said “no” that it was my day, and I can choose… but now?!
Both of my parents are shocked that so many of their friends want to come. HELP!? 🙁
Post # 3
If you don’t have room, you don’t have room. It’s really nice they want to come and celebrate your day, but I’m sure if they are regular decent people they will understand, like your parents. Tell your parents that you have a small venue and you won’t be able to invite everyone, and they can pass the message on. If they are all friends of your parents it might be nice for your parents to host a separate gathering a month or two after your wedding to celebrate with their friends. Some of my mother’s siblings who weren’t invited to our wedding for the same reason did this for us and it was lovely.
Post # 4
no, you shouldn’t invite them if you dont have room. just have your parents (or someone) spread the word telling people that your wedding will be much smaller than your sisters.
Post # 5
@mountain.bride: celebrating with them after would be such a good idea! thank you for the suggestion!
@red_rose: i think i will get my sister to spread the word! 🙂 thanks for the tip
Post # 6
If you are close to them and want them there no matter what, then absolutely invite them. If you are doing it out of obligation to make your parents happy then leave them off the list. Your guestlist is supposed to be those who are nearest and dearest to you, not someone else. Your parents can invite them to other parties that you are not hosting or invvolved with any other time.
Post # 7
I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to not be invited to both. Going to weddings are expensive!
Just get your parents to tell them that you picked the venue before putting your guest list together and don’t have room for as many people. I think that’d be fine.
I also totally agree with Selene221 🙂
Post # 8
I would try to invite them if you can. I live in a small town, and many of my parents friends have known me since my birth. They have celebrated my birthdays, graduations, and been involved in my life ever since I could remember. So they are a natural part of my invitation list. Of course, their children and grandchildren are on the list too. (Seriously, I’m not so worried about the plus one factor as much as the cut off line… We have dear friends that we invite to annual events at our house that we literally invite two brothers, their wives, children, and now grandchildren, and now their third brother’s wife’s parents are our next door neighbors, and one of the daughter-in-laws (who is my dear friend)… Her brother is married to my mom’s best friend’s daughter who is more like a cousin than just a friend. I actually know their entire family, and could end up with a multiple family reunion event rather than just an our family gathering.
Post # 9
Don’t worry about it. People will understand. What’s important is that your parents seem to understand and will be able to let their friends know the situation.
Post # 10
it is definitely your day so who you want there is most important! If they want to celebrate with you and it means that much to them, you can have a smaller cookout celebration or something with them. Im definitely not a fan of inviting people for the sake of inviting even if they are your parents friends…
Post # 11
I wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t think parents’ friends expect to get invited, and I’m sure they will understand.