(Closed) Should I invite someone I HATE to my wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@tls96:  Your wedding is a year away. They could be engaged by then. I wouldn’t worry about this until February when you send out your invites. It is rude to not invite live in SOs. 

Post # 47
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@RunsWithBears:  Get outta my head, girl!

OP, at the end of the day I’m sure you will do what you think is best, but please know that if you do not invite your cousin’s SO, either this particular cousin or any other cousins, it will not reflect well on you.

Post # 48
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My opinion is that it is rude not to invite the live-in partners of your guests.  As a pp said, they are a social unit and should be invited together or not at all.  If you feel this strongly about her, then don’t invite either of them.

Post # 49
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

I ended up inviting someone who hates me to my wedding.  DH met at our previous place of employment (we worked together for 6 years).  We decided that to be fair and not cause ANY hurt feelings, we would invite everyone we had worked with (about 20 people) – including said hater.  My reasoning?  I didn’t want to give her more ammunition to hate me (e.g., well, Meeshmallow didn’t invite me, see, what a beyotch…). 

She, of course, did not come.  Didn’t even send back the RSVP.  I didn’t bother to call to confirm her attendance 🙂

That being said, it is completely up to you.  It’s your day, and you can choose to invite whomever you wish.  If you really don’t want said person there, then don’t invite them!!

Post # 50
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

While she is a terrible person, she living with FH’s cousin. This means it’s getting serious, so you will have to see her in the future. Cutting her out of the wedding wouldn’t help anything.

Also, as somebody living with an SO, if either of us wasn’t invited, we would be hurt because it would feel like we weren’t being acknowledged as a couple. But, that’s just my perspective. Weddings are expensive and I understand that.  So, if you choose to cite budget as your reason, that’s totally fine.

Post # 51
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You don’t need to invite this person because you already said you were not giving plus ones to the other cousins. They are falling under the same guidelines as everyone else. Why should you make an exception for someone who clearly doesn’t respect you. I wouldn’t invite her

Post # 52
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe I’m biased because one of my major pet peeves is self-righteous hipster/hippe types who are openly judgemental, but I would say don’t invite her. It would be one thing if you didn’t know her well or something like that, but if she openly doesn’t like you, then screw it. I try to keep negative people out of my life – no apologies. Life is too short and too precious to spend it with people who you don’t want to spend it with – and this will be a big moment in your life. Don’t worry about it, don’t second guess it, just move on and know that you made a decision that is right for you and what you envision for your life: a life shared with people you care about and not people you don’t.

Post # 53
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@mrs_pugetsound:  If you’ve tried to be courteous and have gone out of your way to be nice to her, yet she has continued to treat you so poorly to the point where having her at your wedding would upset you…then screw “etiquette”!! (She has!!!).

Exactly! Ding ding ding!

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