(Closed) Should I invite the rude No Shows????

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

euw…i would definitely try and find out what happened with the other two….if for no other reason, morbid curiosity.

Post # 4
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@destiny1120: to me, it seems a little harsh to uninvite them. Did you already invite them?

Post # 6
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I know your mom is upset, but I think it would be even ruder not to invite them to the wedding. Hopefully, they have legitimate excuses for not attending, but even if they don’t, I would still invite them.

Post # 7
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

@destiny1120: If you see them in school, it would not be out of line to directly ask them why they couldn’t come.

Post # 8
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

very simple: “we missed you at the engagement party”

Post # 11
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

You can’t uninvite them if they have already received a save the date.  Was it rude that they skipped the engagement party?  Yes.  But give them the benefit of the doubt.  Something probably just come up.  Missing an engagement party is a lot different than not showing at a wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Hmm… how were they invited to the engagement party? Was there a formal invite or were they casually invited via text or phone.  Personally, if I were invited by phone I may see this as a very informal event and wouldn’t feel bad if I bailed.  However, a wedding, with a formal invite would elicit a different response from me.  So I guess it depends on how they were invited…

Post # 14
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Maybe they didnt realize that it was already paid for ahead of time

Post # 15
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I’m used to having people RSVP to things and not show up. As sad/annoying as it is, I would probably still invite them to my wedding (unless they were iffy in the beginning). I think most people strive very hard to make it to weddings… but showers/parties are another thing. People want to go, but when something comes up they’re like, “Oh it’s only the shower… the wedding is most important”.

I would definitely invite the woman with childcare issues. You can’t help that. The one who forgot… eh I would give her another chance. The others? I would talk to them first. They may or may not be worth inviting.

Post # 16
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@bells: I agree that they maybe didn’t know it was something your family was putting down money for.  I’ve heard of lots of casual cocktail engagement parties, where people try to make it but can’t always.  Especially if you’ve seen them and they haven’t said anything, maybe they really didn’t realize it was such a formal thing.  You could always bring it up, as previous posters have said, and see what the deal is.

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