Should I invite them?

posted 2 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
1246 posts
Bumble bee

I think discuss with your dad and her together but I do think they should be invited.

Post # 3
3680 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

I wouldn’t discuss anything with anyone. This is your wedding, if you want them there invite them. She doesn’t want her own child invited not bc she’s concerned for his health or comfort but bc she’s worried about what people will think? Ugh

Post # 4
502 posts
Busy bee

I would invite them. It sounds like they might not attend? My FI has stepbrothers that he did not want to invite but we did to make his dad happy (I guess the opposite of your situation?) but they declined.

Post # 5
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Yes. Send the invite. The reason your stepmother lists is horrible. Absolutely send. 

Post # 9
1807 posts
Buzzing bee

What sticks out for me is, you aren’t close with them. You are not under any pressure to invite them, so why be wanting to invite them so much?

Do it if you really want to, I suppose.

Post # 10
83 posts
Worker bee

Oh my gosh! I feel very badly for your step mom if she feels that way about others’ perceptions that much. I would say invite them! It’s easier if they decline on their own accord, or even if your step mom convinces them not to come… at least YOU invited them and showed that they are important enough to you to invite them on your special day. 

You say you aren’t very close with them, but you posted about this so it’s obviously on the back of your mind that you’d like to! So, do it!

You should definitely sit with both your dad and step mom to tell them that this is what you’d like to do. 

Post # 13
28 posts

That’s aweful of her.  You should invite them.  My mother also has been driving me nuts over the guest list because of how she thinks others will feel if one person is invited over another regardless of the fact I made it clear that I only want to invite people I’m close with.  My FH and I are paying for everything.  So I just stopped telling her what I was doing until it was after the fact.  Much less stressful.

Post # 14
42 posts
  • Wedding: July 2019

There’s an old saying:  “If you have to ask, the answer is no.” 



However, it’s your wedding and you sound like you want them there.  It’s supposed to be about you and family.  Hopefully she can get over her social anxiety for the benefit of you and your FI. 


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