Post # 1
Just got engaged and am new here. 🙂
So, here’s my dilemma:
I used to work with this girl, we’ll call her Queen B. I quit in large part because of her behavior…
Everywhere Queen B goes, drama follows. She is a status climber who will ONLY date wealthy men. She is a relentless gossip who has only terrible things to say about others behind their backs. She was constantly attacking my fiance in front of me, saying he’s not good enough, and asking me if I’m SURE I want to marry someone like him (yes, I am sure!). I am sure this behavior is rooted in jealousy, as she still has yet to meet a guy and is getting older.
Before I saw this Queen B true colors, I introduced her to one of my friends, whom she promptly poached from me. The two of them started going to happy hour together and quit inviting me. My friend is now acting very cold to me. I am sure that Queen B has said horrible things about me to my friend. Of course, Queen B has said horrible things about my friend to me as well, calling her a horrible mom, saying her kids should be taken away from her, saying her friends are all trailer trash, saying she should divorce her husband because he’s no good, etc. All things I disagree with, By The Way…
Anyway, here’s my question. I REALLY want to invite my friend to my wedding. However, I really don’t want Queen B and her negativity there. Also, my finace and I know quite a few wealthy families, and I don’t want her to get any ideas. I also don’t want to burn bridges, and I am worried that my friend will only grow more distant if I don’t invite her new bestie, Queen B, to my wedding.
My fiance says I should take the high road and invite Queen B. He says it will show her that I’m not like her, that I am inclusive.
What are your thoughts? Do I invite Queen B? Do I not? What are the social consequences of both decisions.. will I lose my friend?
Post # 2
futuremrscalidreams : There is no obligation to invite friends of friends. If you want to invite a friend who is now acting very cold to you, invite her. You do not have to invite Queen B.
Honestly, I can’t imagine why you would want to invite Queen B.
Post # 3
Don’t invite anyone that does not support you or your future marriage. You are not obligated to invite a friend’s friend. If the friend gets mad at you then she really is not a friend worth having
Post # 4
The best advice I ever heard about deciding wedding guests was this. When thinking of a possible guest, ask yourself, would you treat this person to a dinner at a five star restaurant? If the amswer is No or you hesitate, dont invite that person.
Post # 5
Sorry I don’t understand this part:
Also, my finace and I know quite a few wealthy families, and I don’t want her to get any ideas.
Post # 6
I would say no. Don’t invite Queen B. It doesn’t sound like she is someone you would want to have there on such an important day in your life. And you are under no obligation to invite her
If you want your friend there, invite her. And she should understand why you don’t want Queen B there. It’s your wedding and not hers, and there is no reason that she should be upset with you or “unfriend” you if Queen B is not invited. Your original friendship with your friend has nothing to do with her.
I hope that helps
Post # 7
I don’t understand why you would invite either of these women to your wedding or why you would even see them ever again. It sounds like neither of them want anything to do with you.
Post # 8
No, don’t invite Queen B. If you want to, just invite your now-cool friend. If she gets miffed that QB isn’t invited and snubs you (more), she is proving how unworthy she is even more than she already has.
Post # 9
Are you mature enough to get married if you’re using the word “frenemy”?
Post # 10
Yeah I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that no one needs to invite their frenemy to their wedding.
Post # 11
Heck no! If she’s not someone that you genuinely care about then absolutely don’t invite her. Especially if you’re going to be stressed or uneasy about potential drama. So not worth it.
Post # 12
Don’t invite anyone you don’t want there. If your old friend can’t be without the Queen for a day, then she’ll not come to the wedding – and that’s her loss. As you said in your intro, they started going to Happy Hour and stopped inviting you.
I wonder if you’re really thinking of inviting Queen B because you feel like showing off? It IS the day you’ll look you’re very best. All eyes will be on you. Your wealthy friends will be there. I have a feeling this is more the issue than worrying about keeping a half-assed friend happy when she can’t even to remember to invite you to drinks
Post # 13
Uh you obviously strongly dislike her so, no. The social cost? Queen B will know you don’t really like her I guess. Is that news to her? As for your friend, if she refuses to be friends with you unless you are friends with her friend, that is very unreasonable. It’s not like they’re an actual couple.
Post # 14
I agree with PPs: “Why would you want to invite Queen B? and
Don’t invite anyone you don’t want there. If your old friend can’t be without the Queen for a day, then she’ll not come to the wedding – and that’s her loss. “
Post # 15
Unless Queen B is your other firends SO I really don’t see how she could possibly be upset if you don’t invite her. The simple reason that you are not close to Queen B should be more than enough excuse, not that you need an excuse.