Post # 1
My Fiancé and I have a guest that we aren’t sure if we should invite. It is one of his friends (who he has known for 22 years) wife, who has always been rude to me and we do not get along at all!
When this couple got married, they deliberately excluded me and only invited my then bf, he went but felt incredibly uncomfortable because we had been a couple for 6 years at that point.
Do we have to invite the wife?
Post # 2
No, I don’t feel like you have to invite anyone that is nasty to you. However, you need to keep in mind that this might offend your fiances friend, and might make him not want to come.
I think that you have to weigh up the relationship with the friend and the relationship with the wife, honestly. Is it worth causing an issue with the friend? Is she actually likely to say anything, or even come? Also consider that her lack of invitation may have been because they both didn’t know you or weren’t close to you, and wasn’t meant to offend (of course, I can’t know these details, but it’s worth putting out there).
Post # 3
How long ago did they get married?
Post # 4
alex313 : About 3 years by the time we get married
Post # 5
You don’t have to invite her, but be aware that it’s a pretty substantial etiquette infraction. At least she had the excuse of you not being married when she decided not to invite you. Not inviting spouses is generally a no-no.
Post # 6
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Both of them or neither of them. You can’t split up a social unit (I know she did – be the bigger person).
Post # 7
I think you do. They are married now and whilst I think inviting girlfriends/boyfriends of partners is not mandatory, spouses are. She sounds like a total hoe though hehe xo
Post # 8
tabee88 : NO, I don’t care who gets upset, I refuse to be around rude people and wouldn’t invite one to my wedding.
Post # 9
Don’t invite either of them.
If your husband wants to keep the chap as a friend and have him there, then you’ll need to invite them both.
Post # 10
I think you need to invite neither or both.
Post # 11
Both or neither. It’s not strictly the wife’s fault you weren’t invited to theirs – he didn’t invite you either. And as I teach my first graders, two wrongs don’t make a right.
Post # 12
If they are to be the only two guests at your wedding, do what makes you “comfortable”. If there are going to be OTHER guests there, she will not have the opportunity to bother you, and your husband will have his long term friend among his guests.
Unfortunately there is actually no real status for bf/gf no matter how long that relationship has existed, so your omission from the guest list at their wedding may or may not have been a slight.
By inviting them both you’re taking the high road and mending fences. What better place-time-event than your own beautiful celebration than to do that. Consider it a little gift to your groom.
Post # 13
If you decide to invite both of them the right thing would be for them to thank you for the invite but decline since his wife clearly isn’t wanted there (she should understand this) and he can congratulate his friend (your new husband) later in private.
Post # 14
You were dating at her wedding. The traditional view has always been that it is obligatory to invite couples who are engaged, married or living together. A long term, older couple may also qualify as a social unit these days. Regardless, she may have felt justified in not inviting you at that time.
They are a married couple at your wedding, so there’s no no polite or decent way to exclude her. Either invite both or neither. I’d invite neither.
It’s just as rude to tell someone that they aren’t invited to something and why. Just don’t invite them. I’m sure they can figure it out.