Should I invite this lady to our wedding? At a loss as to what to do…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I’d invite her… I think it’d be awkward to have her there then send her home.

Post # 4
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

I would veer to the side of not inviting her. You’re paying her to do hair, it’s not a favor, and I would also be concerned that she would bring up the wedding to others who aren’t invited. Not to mention, she would have to get ready for the wedding some time between going your hair/makeup and the start of the show.

Post # 5
Member
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I don’t think that warrants an invitation.  You’re essentially going to be using her as a vendor, and vendors aren’t guests at the wedding.  If you’re not close to her I don’t think you need to feel pressured to invite her.  Just take her up on her kind offer if you want and leave it at that.

Post # 6
Member
7806 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’d not invite her. She’s a paid vendor. If she were doing it for free (which I would never recommend anyways lol), I *might* lean toward inviting her, but if you’re paying her, nah. 

That said, I would make sure you do a trial. Friendors get a really bad rep, and for good reason… She isnt a professional. 

Post # 7
Member
1818 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I agree you don’t invite vendors to a wedding. I also contemplated hiring FH’s hairdresser friend to do my hair (and he already intends to invite her) but that would make her day very long and exhausting to be both vendor and guest. And what would her fiance be doing while she does your hair?

FH also has a photographer friend, she made it clear she can’t work a wedding and be a guest at the same time.

Post # 8
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee

IF you decide to extend an invite to her, just politely mention you weren’t able to invite anyone else from bible study so please not mention anything

Post # 10
Member
8368 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
alexam :  I would have said thanks but no thanks to the hair and makeup, and avoided this whole question. If you treat her like a paid vendor and just dismiss her after she’s done, things are probably going to be awkward around her. If you treat her like a friend and invite her to the wedding, things are going to be awkward around the rest of the Bible study group. I’d consider backing out of the hair and makeup, or if you stick with it, I would probably invite her to stay for the wedding and if any other Bible study members ask about it, I’d tell them she’s performing a service so of course she’s welcome to stay for the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
7810 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I think you made an error in having her do hair and/or makeup. This isn’t just an average vendor, IMO, and I would extend an invitation. Much like an officiant is given an invitation to the reception, even if you don’t know them well (many decline, but it is still polite to extend the invitation), I feel this woman is different from “just a vendor.” If you don’t want hard feelings, give her the invitation. You don’t have to invite the rest of the study group, but this woman is doing a special service and will be right in the midst of things as you are preparing. It would be awkward to have her do your hair and makeup  and then send her away, especially if she feels closer to you than you feel to her (which she probably does, otherwise she wouldn’t have offered her services).

Post # 12
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I would invite her and let her decide whether to accept and how to handle doing your hair and also attending the wedding. There’s no law saying the bible study group has to all be invited. I invited 2 co-workers to my wedding, the ones I was close to, not all of them.

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