(Closed) Should I just let it go?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Aww, I’m sorry hun 🙁

I think a lot of people go through this when they plan their wedding. You find out who your real friends are, and especially after college, you realize that you’ve grown apart from friends you’ve had in the past. It just happens. You become different people.

I say you just wait for her RSVP, and then send a calm e-mail to get closure from the friendship, and consider it ended. If she ever wants to reconnect in the future, that will be up to you.

Good luck with everything, and keep us posted!

Post # 5
2634 posts
Sugar bee

Honestly, yes, just let it go.  Don’t waste anymore emotional energy on her.  Focus on the people that ARE coming.

Sorry you’re dealing with this.

Post # 6
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m so sorry jaylii9.  I had a similar experience.  Someone that I had been friends with for more than a decade.  Someone that did just about everything for during her wedding 5 years ago (including bachelorette party in vegas, bridal shower in columbus, wedding in new york.. probably about 1200-1400 dollars spent) but she was a good friend, I didn’t care.

Here we are 5 years later, she lives in the boston area.  She never called my mom to rsvp for the shower.. she wrote me an email the day after it was due, saying she was sorry she couldn’t come.  Then when it came time for the invites, again, she didn’t rsvp by the deadline, she miraculously lost that invite as well.  She wrote a facebook post saying that they weren’t going to make it, so sorry, can’t wait to see pictures.  Not a card, or a gift for either event.  Haven’t heard from her since.

I am just ending the friendship.  She had photos up from the month before our wedding, going to florida to visit a friend who had a baby, she was here in march for a friend who was about to have a baby, then back after the birth.. she was in town several times last year for other people’s weddings… she tried to pull the too expensive card.. she could have flown alone – stayed with and attended the wedding with other friends of ours – she should have been there to support me, but she ended up not even being able to send a card!

I had to think really hard about whether it was worth my time to keep “trying” to have a friendship with this person…  it wasn’t.  And it wasn’t just about money, it was about being there for me at the most important time in my life.. I was there for her, she didnt’ even try to be there for me.

When is your RSVP date?  If it has passed, definitely call her.  Email is TOO easy for people to just write back that they can’t make it.. call her, make her tell you why she isn’t coming.  Then decide if you want to keep trying.  She might be a good enough friend that you want to keep trying.. maybe things haven’t been distant for that long for you…

Call her & keep us posted.

Post # 7
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t wait for the no RSVP, I would call her and just see where she’s at with everything. If you get from the convo that she doesn’t care, then unfortunately she doesn’t and you should just let it go. It sucks but sometimes people change.

Post # 8
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you should call her and play catch up.  Then try to sneak in some wedding talk during the conversation.  When was the last time you spoke/hung out with her? 

Post # 9
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would just let it go.  It sounds like she hasn’t made the effort where you have, so you should probably just leave it be.

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