(Closed) Should I just move on?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
2395 posts
Buzzing bee

Definitely move on, unless you want to continue to build and live your life based on gun laws and a selfish SO/husband.

Post # 3
10258 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would not be okay planning the rest of my life based on gun laws. 

Post # 4
154 posts
Blushing bee

Guns are priority over you and your quality of life? Bye Felicia!

Post # 5
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I have a hobby about which I am passionate–it’s a dog sport.  I’ve spent over a decade living in places where the training  clubs were two hours away.  At long last, there is an excellent club 45 minutes from home.  It’s a dream come true.

Not a snowball’s chance I would give up this hobby for a bf.

My dh would never have expect me to.  He’s gotten into it and participates by taking pics and videos.

Giving up my hobby would wreck my quality of life as well as my puppy’s.  

I think because the hobby in question is guns, it’s easier to hate on the bf.

All of that said, I agree he’s been a selfish ass up till now. He isn’t willing to consider a compromise, i.e. he gets to keep his guns but gets the longer commute.

OP and bf just sound to me like a bad match.  Somewhere out there is an NRA woman who loves target shooting and OP can find a good man closer to her job.

Post # 6
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Definitely move on. You deserve someone who’s going to put your happiness first, not a hobby. 

Post # 7
635 posts
Busy bee

It’s not just the fact that the hobby is taking on an outsized importance in your life – it’s the fact that he expects for YOU and YOU ALONE to the pay the costs of this hobby with YOUR commute time.

If he were willing to pay for it with his commute time, and respect your priority of having a shorter commute, this would/could be a different issue.

He’s selfish.

Post # 8
451 posts
Helper bee

Based on what you wrote, he would be able to keep the majority of his guns if you moved to that area. So it’s not a case of him having to give up his hobby at all. He’s paying attention to gun laws instead of commute times.

So to me, it just sounds like he’s being selfish and not actually thinking of you as a unit. Dealbreaker.

Move on.

Post # 9
11398 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Wow, I can’t even. So many red flags. Time to move on to find a grown up. 

Post # 11
32 posts

I commuted 2 hours away from home for the past 6 months so I know how ridiculous and exhausting it is. I just got a new job about 1hr to 1.5 hrs away which is not ideal but the pay is much better and I consider it temporary. 

My boyfriend drives about 30min to work and I would never ask him to look for another job or move. We just bought a house together so it is different. His job pays twice as much as mine and it’s close to his work so it’s good for him. He has talked about planning for me to quit and go back to nursing school in about a year or two and then me supporting him so he can go back to school after that.

From the sound of your situation, if he wasn’t willing to accommodate me or improve things I would probably move out and get a closer apt to work. You have no real ties and he hasn’t proposed? I would tell him we can see each other during the week/weekends or break up if it’s not working out/going somewhere.

Post # 12
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

MAJOR red flags here. This guy is prioritizing his gun over you…what?!?! I’d move on super quickly.

Post # 13
2815 posts
Sugar bee

What’s the question? The guy cares more about his guns than you

Post # 14
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

A hobby is affecting the quality of your life. Your bf has stated and shown he would not tolerate the same commute that you do day after day. That is selfish. Move by yourself to a location that is good for you. 

Post # 15
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

Yes, I think you should move on.  Personally, I don’t get the guns as a hobby thing… to me, it’s in the same category as drugs as a hobby, however I am not American and don’t understand gun culture – AT ALL.   That aside, the fact that he’s completely unwilling to compromise and make your life a bit easier so that he can remain armed is a red flag to me and I’d be gone.

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