Post # 16
His only compromise is that we can move closer but it can only be for a year and then he will have to find a new job so we can move out of that area. Even that still gives me a 45-60 min commute once he finds a job in the suggested area.
Im so tempted to just find a new place and move on after all of this. Its tough because I love him and outside of this he treats me well. Its difficult to sit here while he cleans the apartment feeling like Im just pulling the rug out from underneath him and this relationship.
Post # 17
I’d move out and move on. I understand him not wanting to give up a passion, but I can’t understand lack of compromise when he knows you’re miserable. I’d resent him wayyyyyy too much to ever enjoy that relationship.
Who knows, maybe he’ll come to his senses and realize he made a mistake by letting you go!
Post # 18
Well, that sure changes the picture. He’d only have to get rid of one gun that he’s not using anyway? In that case, he is being a selfish jackass.
I thought maybe he was an avid target shooter or something.
Post # 19
Ok thread jacking for a sec, but you compare guns to drugs?? Seriously?? I am not an American (Australian actually) but my Fiance and I both have gun licenses and guns. I used to be a pretty great target shooter with sponsors and the like, and Fiance is an ethical hunter who provides us with fresh, free free-range meat. I think it’s pretty dim witted to compare gun enthusiasts with drug enthusiasts.
OP, I think a bit more info is needed on your mans hobby. Is he just a collector, or is he a target shooter/hunter/in law enforcement? I don’t understand why he would need to give up a gun due to moving 30 minutes away, is it a different county or is it due to moving from rural to city?
On the surface of this, it does sound childish refusing to move due to having to give one gun up, however I feel like there is more at play.
For reference, I live with Fiance close to family and friends, and about 30minutes away from my work. His work is over an hour away. If he asked me to move in between our two jobs I would refuse. The areas are expensive and not very nice, they are far away from family and friends and he was the one who decided to take a job so far away from home, which is not so exclusive that he couldn’t find a similar job closer to home.
Post # 20
Even as a gun enthusiast, what he’s basically saying is that one gun is more important to him than being with you is. I understand that gun owners worry about their rights being chipped away and all that – it was a prime reason I didn’t move to California and my husband wanted out of there. But one gun is nothing. His priorities are f-ed up. What else won’t he compromise on? I’m willing to bet this is just a convenient excuse because he’s too lazy to drive any distance to work. When my husband had nearly an hour’s ride to my 15 minutes, often in the dark, we decided to move further north so we’re both going a half hour. An easy decision to make for his safety.
I’d move on.
Post # 21
He only owns them to shoot a few times a year and cant move because it is banned (detachable magazine). He doesn’t use them for anything else other than working on building them. He would only have to give up a single gun and/or never change his mailing information to that area and bring it home.
Post # 22
nothing to add to your situation other than it seems to be a bummer for you 🙁
…but I’m curious, don’t most guns have detachable magazines? I mean, isn’t that where you put the bullets? So to fill it up again don’t you take it out and put it back in… thus making it detachable? 🤔
Post # 23
Move on, reading your post was exhausting so I can only imagine what living it is like. Not to mention he refuses to compromise by giving up 1 of his many firearms to help you achieve a better work life balance. There is way better out there for you.
Post # 25
I’m reading this and all I can picture is him stomping around with this “me me me” attitude. I don’t see him compromising on this at all and to me it’s a little bit ridiculous. You’re not asking him to give up his hobby entirely.. I guess what I would do in your situation would heavily depend on how amazing my relationship was outside of this. You say that he treats you really well which is amazing but I question just how much he prioritizes you if he can’t give an inch here..